Hi Mrs. McNear:
I also belong to the "can't live with difficult child" circle. And you know what? That's O.K. It is a blessing to at least know what you are and aren't able to do to continue to live a stable life of your own. Don't feel guilty about it...one day your sweet Betsy may come to realize why....just as my difficult child has.
Now, I also welcome you to the "difficult child Grandma Club". We are a very special bunch......you're among friends.
Life for your family and especially for sweet Betsy are going to change....that is for sure. When my daughter told me she was pregnant at 20, it was hard at first to accept. We talked to her about not continuing the pregnancy, about adoption , about what her life was going to be like. She wanted to keep the baby and I supported her in that.In time, it was something that brought us closer. It still does.....I am raising her son....he is a joy and a blessing to our family.
I am not saying that you will end up raising this baby, but it may happen and you have to ask yourself how you feel about that.
As for your Sweet Betsy, she doesn't have to be a "mom on welfare" if she doesn't want to be. She has a host of services that she can choose from. Get her on medicaid, sign her up for the WIC program, my daughter got her pre-natal care at a clinic here that was connected with a good hospital. She didn't have to pay anything for the care. Also get her signed up with social services......they can help her with housing, getting child support, educational and job help once the baby is born. Betsy can work her way up and out of the welfare system.....as for right now, it may be her only option unless someone is willing to pay for all these things. Expect that she and the baby's father will be an up and down issue. Your job will be to be there for the child. To make a safe and secure place for him in your family so that no matter what, he/she feels safe and loved. That's really what it is all about. Betsy will have to do whatever it is that she has to, to be whatever she wants to be. You are this baby's port in the storm.
I want to congratulate you grandma. It will all be ok. I know you have faith. Now is the time to lean on it.
Blessings,
Melissa 
