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Parent Emeritus
Tell me how you stay strong
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 714049" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I'd love some feedback about how to deal with the voices that start to wear me down. I can state and be very clear with my boundaries: I don't want my verbally abusive daughter to live with me, I will not continue to support her; I do will, and then with a new crisis, I start to weaken. She is very good at playing the victim. She is borderline and no matter how much I do, I am the bad guy. So I start to doubt myself. I say, "her abusive exes are not paying child support, and that's not her fault," so I buy a crib and a stroller because her baby is without. DCYF is investigating her, not about her parenting, but because of the place she is staying, so I lie in bed all night thinking I am an awful person for not taking her in. My rational mind tell me that she won't follow the rules, that she will be verbally abusive, that the stress on my marriage and on me at 64 is too great, but I still beat myself up. How do you/I stay strong and maintain boundaries no matter how hard and painful? Thanks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 714049, member: 19832"] I'd love some feedback about how to deal with the voices that start to wear me down. I can state and be very clear with my boundaries: I don't want my verbally abusive daughter to live with me, I will not continue to support her; I do will, and then with a new crisis, I start to weaken. She is very good at playing the victim. She is borderline and no matter how much I do, I am the bad guy. So I start to doubt myself. I say, "her abusive exes are not paying child support, and that's not her fault," so I buy a crib and a stroller because her baby is without. DCYF is investigating her, not about her parenting, but because of the place she is staying, so I lie in bed all night thinking I am an awful person for not taking her in. My rational mind tell me that she won't follow the rules, that she will be verbally abusive, that the stress on my marriage and on me at 64 is too great, but I still beat myself up. How do you/I stay strong and maintain boundaries no matter how hard and painful? Thanks. [/QUOTE]
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