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Text message ignored this morning......
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<blockquote data-quote="ANewLife4Me" data-source="post: 765461" data-attributes="member: 32799"><p>I think that you should be proud of yourself and how you’re handling this. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤗" title="Hugging face :hugging:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f917.png" data-shortname=":hugging:" /> That text was a test from him to you seeking a response. If he had gotten one he knew you were hooked and he could attempt further texts asking for money or a place to stay at your home. As you said you have told him about places before so he knows what’s around in your area. My daughter has done similar things with me starting a conversation off with, so you like the room now that I am not there? What did you do with it? Right there is an opening of her hoping we will say she can come back if she wants. They are so sneaky aren’t they? When we had our blinders on we could not see the manipulation but oh, do we see it now! </p><p></p><p>Holding firm onto his entering rehab and then a half way house would really show you he wants to change his life around. Sadly for many that is not the end of the story as they relapse or leave the home. Just when we think it’s over, it might not be. Because of his refusal to do this I don’t think you should have any feelings of being defeated because the power is in his hands, not yours. Only he can make choices for his life and we the parents just have to let them do so. We know what’s best for them but trying to force our opinions on them is only going to be met with resistance. It’s a darn shame they only come to us when they need something, no contact until then. We should really think hard on what that is saying to us, they are using us. Understandable that with his drinking can cause seizures or that lit cigarette a fire causes you so much worry. But as I tell myself more and more these days, has my worry changed anything? Did my hovering over my daughters every move after she cut her wrists stop her from ever doing it again? No. For our sanity, we have to let go and move on unless they show us real improvement. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤗" title="Hugging face :hugging:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f917.png" data-shortname=":hugging:" /></p><p></p><p>Today I went out and had a nice lunch, my heart was not into shopping but not because of my daughter’s situation but because of me. I drove past the jail where she is and did not have feelings of panic, of dread. Today it was another building that I drove by. Even though it’s taken awhile I am coming to terms with letting her learn the really hard lesson of life that I sheltered her from for so many years. Do I worry she will commit suicide? I do but, nothing in my power will stop it if that’s what she chooses. I pray that God will help our children as like you, it’s too much anymore to handle on my own. My own depression, panic attacks, health issues…I don’t want it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ANewLife4Me, post: 765461, member: 32799"] I think that you should be proud of yourself and how you’re handling this. 🤗 That text was a test from him to you seeking a response. If he had gotten one he knew you were hooked and he could attempt further texts asking for money or a place to stay at your home. As you said you have told him about places before so he knows what’s around in your area. My daughter has done similar things with me starting a conversation off with, so you like the room now that I am not there? What did you do with it? Right there is an opening of her hoping we will say she can come back if she wants. They are so sneaky aren’t they? When we had our blinders on we could not see the manipulation but oh, do we see it now! Holding firm onto his entering rehab and then a half way house would really show you he wants to change his life around. Sadly for many that is not the end of the story as they relapse or leave the home. Just when we think it’s over, it might not be. Because of his refusal to do this I don’t think you should have any feelings of being defeated because the power is in his hands, not yours. Only he can make choices for his life and we the parents just have to let them do so. We know what’s best for them but trying to force our opinions on them is only going to be met with resistance. It’s a darn shame they only come to us when they need something, no contact until then. We should really think hard on what that is saying to us, they are using us. Understandable that with his drinking can cause seizures or that lit cigarette a fire causes you so much worry. But as I tell myself more and more these days, has my worry changed anything? Did my hovering over my daughters every move after she cut her wrists stop her from ever doing it again? No. For our sanity, we have to let go and move on unless they show us real improvement. 🤗 Today I went out and had a nice lunch, my heart was not into shopping but not because of my daughter’s situation but because of me. I drove past the jail where she is and did not have feelings of panic, of dread. Today it was another building that I drove by. Even though it’s taken awhile I am coming to terms with letting her learn the really hard lesson of life that I sheltered her from for so many years. Do I worry she will commit suicide? I do but, nothing in my power will stop it if that’s what she chooses. I pray that God will help our children as like you, it’s too much anymore to handle on my own. My own depression, panic attacks, health issues…I don’t want it. [/QUOTE]
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