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Family of Origin
that darn bull again
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 708429" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Pigless. My heart goes out to you also as there is only choosing a course from two bad choices. How interesting that Ferb gets it but not CQ.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My hubs parents were living in their home 5 yrs. ago, Dad with advancing parkinsons, both in their late 70's. We tried talking to mom often and at length about more care for Dad, moving to assisted, etc. to no avail. She just wouldn't leave her "Sticks and Bricks" house no matter what. Finally, Dad asked us to lay off as she was making it hard on him! She refused any change despite hiding car keys, leaving Dad to push cart in Kmart and losing him, having Dad call police twice at 2am for intruder in house (it was mom). She was sleeping opposite "shift" from him so she didn't have to deal with him as much---sounds crazy and that left him alone in house and yard many times. She would tell us he was lonely and we would visit more but she wouldn't budge. My hubs found electrical cord in garage cut in half-is that how Dad unplugged it? We then ambushed them one afternoon when Dad didn't feel good. We visited, Dad's legs were somewhat swollen and we said he needed to go to ER. She agreed. We needed to get in front of others for her to see how totally unreasonable this all was. The blessed ER doctor looked this nurse right in the eye, in front of all, and said "Is he safe at home?" and we said "No". Dad was admitted to nursing home from hospital. He died 2 yrs. later. Mom remained in sticks and bricks until she died there suddenly, alone, with all her things around her 3 yrs. after Dad. Seems so sad, but it was her choice. Her independence was more important to her than anyone's safety. </p><p>You have to do what you can live with, no matter what it will be perceived as all your fault. Dementia in all forms is wicked. "Is he safe at home?" ...let alone out in a car to drive? Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 708429, member: 20054"] Hi Pigless. My heart goes out to you also as there is only choosing a course from two bad choices. How interesting that Ferb gets it but not CQ. My hubs parents were living in their home 5 yrs. ago, Dad with advancing parkinsons, both in their late 70's. We tried talking to mom often and at length about more care for Dad, moving to assisted, etc. to no avail. She just wouldn't leave her "Sticks and Bricks" house no matter what. Finally, Dad asked us to lay off as she was making it hard on him! She refused any change despite hiding car keys, leaving Dad to push cart in Kmart and losing him, having Dad call police twice at 2am for intruder in house (it was mom). She was sleeping opposite "shift" from him so she didn't have to deal with him as much---sounds crazy and that left him alone in house and yard many times. She would tell us he was lonely and we would visit more but she wouldn't budge. My hubs found electrical cord in garage cut in half-is that how Dad unplugged it? We then ambushed them one afternoon when Dad didn't feel good. We visited, Dad's legs were somewhat swollen and we said he needed to go to ER. She agreed. We needed to get in front of others for her to see how totally unreasonable this all was. The blessed ER doctor looked this nurse right in the eye, in front of all, and said "Is he safe at home?" and we said "No". Dad was admitted to nursing home from hospital. He died 2 yrs. later. Mom remained in sticks and bricks until she died there suddenly, alone, with all her things around her 3 yrs. after Dad. Seems so sad, but it was her choice. Her independence was more important to her than anyone's safety. You have to do what you can live with, no matter what it will be perceived as all your fault. Dementia in all forms is wicked. "Is he safe at home?" ...let alone out in a car to drive? Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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that darn bull again
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