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The 2nd (maybe 3rd) worst phone call
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<blockquote data-quote="Snow White" data-source="post: 737952" data-attributes="member: 355"><p>So, it's been a while. In April we got rid of the hoarder "friend", who had been with us for 10 months with no signs of improving her health, lifestyle, employment opportunity or life skills. Been trying to get back into a normal routine. Hubby and I doing some yard work projects. And just when life seems to be getting back to some sense of stability.....daughter calls.</p><p></p><p>She's been in Asia forever - hopping from country to country. But then she called & spoke with hubby. Said she wanted to "surprise Mom" with a visit home. We hoped it wouldn't happen. She "met a guy" overseas, who lives in Canada. Sure enough, she is on the east coast, staying with said guy. They are "in love" and now engaged. And....SHE IS PREGNANT....and oh, so happy. My 2nd worst phone call nightmare (I would move arrest/prison to 3rd in my opinion). That call came on Sunday night.</p><p></p><p>Monday - drama phone call. She reports taking boyfriend/fiance to hospital psychiatric unit. Fighting had started. He got upset. Threatened suicide (this is all daughter's story). Doesn't want to stay with him. Admitted that she might have "shoved him" and threatened to trash the place. Says, "I need to put myself and the baby first." Back to regular operating mode.</p><p></p><p>Tuesday - phone call - did not answer.</p><p></p><p>Today - phone call at my work with photos of her positive pregnancy test emailed to me. She's decided they can't be together right now and that she needs to come and spend time with her parents. Wants my help??? </p><p></p><p>I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO TELL HER. I NEED TO SAY "YOU CAN'T LIVE HERE". AT THE SAME TIME, I FEEL PARALYZED. I'm afraid for this child that hasn't even entered the world yet. I'm planning to retire from my job in April and that would be her due date (of course). </p><p></p><p>I told her I am not in a position to have her live with us. She says she doesn't want that - only to stay until she figures everything out. I told her I am uncomfortable with her being in the house, after admitting she was feeling/acting violent with her guy. She says she's "changed" and that I need to stop blaming her for the past????</p><p></p><p>Have any of you had to deal with your adult child's pregnancy issues? How did you cope and what limits (if any) were you able to set? I haven't told hubby about today's phone call yet. He's going to spiral into a depression himself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snow White, post: 737952, member: 355"] So, it's been a while. In April we got rid of the hoarder "friend", who had been with us for 10 months with no signs of improving her health, lifestyle, employment opportunity or life skills. Been trying to get back into a normal routine. Hubby and I doing some yard work projects. And just when life seems to be getting back to some sense of stability.....daughter calls. She's been in Asia forever - hopping from country to country. But then she called & spoke with hubby. Said she wanted to "surprise Mom" with a visit home. We hoped it wouldn't happen. She "met a guy" overseas, who lives in Canada. Sure enough, she is on the east coast, staying with said guy. They are "in love" and now engaged. And....SHE IS PREGNANT....and oh, so happy. My 2nd worst phone call nightmare (I would move arrest/prison to 3rd in my opinion). That call came on Sunday night. Monday - drama phone call. She reports taking boyfriend/fiance to hospital psychiatric unit. Fighting had started. He got upset. Threatened suicide (this is all daughter's story). Doesn't want to stay with him. Admitted that she might have "shoved him" and threatened to trash the place. Says, "I need to put myself and the baby first." Back to regular operating mode. Tuesday - phone call - did not answer. Today - phone call at my work with photos of her positive pregnancy test emailed to me. She's decided they can't be together right now and that she needs to come and spend time with her parents. Wants my help??? I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO TELL HER. I NEED TO SAY "YOU CAN'T LIVE HERE". AT THE SAME TIME, I FEEL PARALYZED. I'm afraid for this child that hasn't even entered the world yet. I'm planning to retire from my job in April and that would be her due date (of course). I told her I am not in a position to have her live with us. She says she doesn't want that - only to stay until she figures everything out. I told her I am uncomfortable with her being in the house, after admitting she was feeling/acting violent with her guy. She says she's "changed" and that I need to stop blaming her for the past???? Have any of you had to deal with your adult child's pregnancy issues? How did you cope and what limits (if any) were you able to set? I haven't told hubby about today's phone call yet. He's going to spiral into a depression himself. [/QUOTE]
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The 2nd (maybe 3rd) worst phone call
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