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The 2nd (maybe 3rd) worst phone call
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 737964" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>UGH!!!</p><p></p><p>Oh those desperate phone calls to mom because mom will fix it!</p><p></p><p></p><p>My son has used this line on me so many times! "Quit throwing my past in my face, I've changed, things will be different now", blah, blah, blah......</p><p>I have learned with my son to just simply say, "I'm not able to help you out" </p><p>I know that if I say anything regarding the fact that I don't trust him, he goes into the "quit throwing my past in my face" routine. </p><p>I also do not offer any explanation as to "why", no matter how much my son demands to know "why" I can't help him. When he asks "why" I simply repeat, "I'm not able to help you".</p><p></p><p></p><p>I advise you really think this through. When my son was released from jail 13 years ago I flew to Colo. to get him and flew him back here to where hubby and I now live. I knew there was no way my son could live with us but wanted to "help"/enable him. We put him up in an apt. for a while until we could close on the little house we bought. Our idea was that our son could live in the house, get a job, start paying us nominal amount of rent, and after being consistent for a few years we would give him the house. </p><p>What happened instead, he met a girl, girl got pregnant, they decided they didn't want to live in our little house while we renovated it so they moved. </p><p>We renovated the house and became landlords, renting it out. </p><p></p><p>Some questions you could ask about renting, could you go month to month or a shorter period of time, 3 or 6 months instead of a year.</p><p></p><p>Our heart always wants to help them out but we need to be practical and thoughtful in the decisions we make regarding them.</p><p>I always come back to this, are we helping or are we enabling?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 737964, member: 18516"] UGH!!! Oh those desperate phone calls to mom because mom will fix it! My son has used this line on me so many times! "Quit throwing my past in my face, I've changed, things will be different now", blah, blah, blah...... I have learned with my son to just simply say, "I'm not able to help you out" I know that if I say anything regarding the fact that I don't trust him, he goes into the "quit throwing my past in my face" routine. I also do not offer any explanation as to "why", no matter how much my son demands to know "why" I can't help him. When he asks "why" I simply repeat, "I'm not able to help you". I advise you really think this through. When my son was released from jail 13 years ago I flew to Colo. to get him and flew him back here to where hubby and I now live. I knew there was no way my son could live with us but wanted to "help"/enable him. We put him up in an apt. for a while until we could close on the little house we bought. Our idea was that our son could live in the house, get a job, start paying us nominal amount of rent, and after being consistent for a few years we would give him the house. What happened instead, he met a girl, girl got pregnant, they decided they didn't want to live in our little house while we renovated it so they moved. We renovated the house and became landlords, renting it out. Some questions you could ask about renting, could you go month to month or a shorter period of time, 3 or 6 months instead of a year. Our heart always wants to help them out but we need to be practical and thoughtful in the decisions we make regarding them. I always come back to this, are we helping or are we enabling? [/QUOTE]
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The 2nd (maybe 3rd) worst phone call
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