Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The 2nd (maybe 3rd) worst phone call
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DoneDad" data-source="post: 738377" data-attributes="member: 17244"><p>Wow, she's certainly done that by showing up unannounced at your doorstep supposedly pregnant. It's like being ambushed. I know all the emotions that go with it because we've been through it. How can I turn my pregnant daughter away? Isn't helping in tough times what family is all about? Isn't having a baby a joyous occasion, something to celebrate?</p><p></p><p>I hope everything turns out OK, but I have to tell you all my spidey senses are saying "WATCH OUT." </p><p></p><p>For one thing, who finds out their girlfriend is pregnant and then immediately quits their job and leaves their furnished apartment? Pin her down on details - where are they going when they leave your place? How will they pay the medical expenses of having a baby? (I don't know how it works in Canada, but it's expensive here.). Where will they live when they have the baby? How will they support it?</p><p></p><p>Can you see a therapist or the psychiatrist who told you not to let her move back in? </p><p></p><p>It could all be some kind of con, which the boyfriend is either in on or is also being conned. Who knows? </p><p></p><p>But if it's not, it's going to be very hard not to get dragged in as the pregnancy progresses, especially if the boyfriend splits and she's on her own. It's going to be winter and she'll be showing. It will be Christmastime. She's at your door. What do you do then? You've got to get boundaries established early to make sure that doesn't happen. There's got to be some kind of plan besides "I'll move in with you and you take care of me and then you raise the baby after it's born." (Unless you're OK with that). The first step is setting a firm date for them leaving your house. </p><p></p><p>Good luck. You are in a tough situation. You don't even know what's true and what isn't, it's not at all clear what is the right thing to do and what isn't, all kinds of emotions come in to play with a grandchild, it's a pretty impossible situation. I would try to see a therapist with your husband so you're at least on the same page as to what you want to do. Try to find something you can do for 30 minutes or so a day that just takes your mind off it, like running or playing guitar or planning a trip or whatever. You have to stay sane in an insane situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DoneDad, post: 738377, member: 17244"] Wow, she's certainly done that by showing up unannounced at your doorstep supposedly pregnant. It's like being ambushed. I know all the emotions that go with it because we've been through it. How can I turn my pregnant daughter away? Isn't helping in tough times what family is all about? Isn't having a baby a joyous occasion, something to celebrate? I hope everything turns out OK, but I have to tell you all my spidey senses are saying "WATCH OUT." For one thing, who finds out their girlfriend is pregnant and then immediately quits their job and leaves their furnished apartment? Pin her down on details - where are they going when they leave your place? How will they pay the medical expenses of having a baby? (I don't know how it works in Canada, but it's expensive here.). Where will they live when they have the baby? How will they support it? Can you see a therapist or the psychiatrist who told you not to let her move back in? It could all be some kind of con, which the boyfriend is either in on or is also being conned. Who knows? But if it's not, it's going to be very hard not to get dragged in as the pregnancy progresses, especially if the boyfriend splits and she's on her own. It's going to be winter and she'll be showing. It will be Christmastime. She's at your door. What do you do then? You've got to get boundaries established early to make sure that doesn't happen. There's got to be some kind of plan besides "I'll move in with you and you take care of me and then you raise the baby after it's born." (Unless you're OK with that). The first step is setting a firm date for them leaving your house. Good luck. You are in a tough situation. You don't even know what's true and what isn't, it's not at all clear what is the right thing to do and what isn't, all kinds of emotions come in to play with a grandchild, it's a pretty impossible situation. I would try to see a therapist with your husband so you're at least on the same page as to what you want to do. Try to find something you can do for 30 minutes or so a day that just takes your mind off it, like running or playing guitar or planning a trip or whatever. You have to stay sane in an insane situation. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The 2nd (maybe 3rd) worst phone call
Top