Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The Appearance
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 763478" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Aloha Acacia, </p><p>Thank you so much for your kind response and wisdom. I did not post for some time as well-busy with my grands and well children, going through different kind of storms than the ever present cloud that having addicted loved ones on the streets challenges me with.</p><p></p><p>I don’t know what rock bottom is anymore to tell</p><p>you the truth. My eldest, Rain, does not try to communicate with me, I think she knows that I will not follow her down the rabbit hole, she is living under a bridge. Good Lord. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face :thinking:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f914.png" data-shortname=":thinking:" /> Tornado every so often attempts to connect, as she says, usually when in jail, or rehab. She uses all the 12 step buzz words, but twists them to her benefit. She came to the house recently one rainy day with a guy “friend”, did a load of wash (mostly his, which is a whole nother affront, besides bringing street people up to my house.) She was clearly high, chatty, so I sat and talked with her, since she seemed open to a conversation. She talked of acceptance (buzzword) but meaning that we should accept her lifestyle, because she is an addict, it’s an illness and relapse is common. I told her that the choices she makes taught me another form of acceptance, to stop the hurt and desperation I felt at having two daughters on meth, on the streets. I am glad that I was able to tell her how I felt. I told her that their addiction and the choices they made set me on my own journey, as a mother of drug addicts. I needed to learn how to cope with this reality, that I had no control over their lives. “I prayed and gave both of you back to God, and ask Him daily to watch over you.” She asked if I would put things on the side for her that I didn’t want, clothes and towels and such. I replied “ Why would I do anything to support your street life?” I’m not cold hearted, that is the facts. She has a bench warrant for an ongoing case from 2018 (she keeps violating probation, missing court dates and such.) I told her that she should get a hold of her P.O. and take steps to right her life. I don’t know if any of what I said will sink in. Hopefully one day it will, but I am not feeling as sad and awful as I usually do when in contact with her. It’s a giant heap of “It is what it is.”</p><p>But that’s today.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Acacia, I have appreciated your posts as well. Posting here helps me work through this mess. </p><p></p><p>I’m sure my two feel the same of me. They would rather we abandon ourselves and slowly fade with the hurt of it all. That makes it easier to manipulate us into doing their bidding. No mas.</p><p></p><p>It does hurt, Acacia. We did not raise our beloveds with this outcome in mind, that’s for sure. Meth is a horrible soul snatcher. </p><p></p><p>Thank you Acacia. We wish for that Norman Rockwell Christmas dinner, with all of our loved ones there. Tornado actually texted me yesterday, apologizing for the stress she has caused. I told her that I loved her, that she has way more value than the choices she is making and hoped that she would find her way towards sobriety. </p><p>We all have to do what brings us peace. I am working hard at that, trying my best to focus on my well children and grands. I have spent many years in desperation for my two, that did nothing to change their ways. So, I had to change mine. I hope that you had a lovely day, even though there is that tinge of melancholy. I have found that when my heart and thoughts go there, a prayer really helps to calm me. I have decided to focus on being thankful for the joyous times I had raising my children. When they become adults they will do as they wish. May peace and joy be with all of us!</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>New Leaf</p><p>Thank you so much for sharing, Acacia. You are a wonderful soul.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 763478, member: 19522"] Aloha Acacia, Thank you so much for your kind response and wisdom. I did not post for some time as well-busy with my grands and well children, going through different kind of storms than the ever present cloud that having addicted loved ones on the streets challenges me with. I don’t know what rock bottom is anymore to tell you the truth. My eldest, Rain, does not try to communicate with me, I think she knows that I will not follow her down the rabbit hole, she is living under a bridge. Good Lord. 🤔 Tornado every so often attempts to connect, as she says, usually when in jail, or rehab. She uses all the 12 step buzz words, but twists them to her benefit. She came to the house recently one rainy day with a guy “friend”, did a load of wash (mostly his, which is a whole nother affront, besides bringing street people up to my house.) She was clearly high, chatty, so I sat and talked with her, since she seemed open to a conversation. She talked of acceptance (buzzword) but meaning that we should accept her lifestyle, because she is an addict, it’s an illness and relapse is common. I told her that the choices she makes taught me another form of acceptance, to stop the hurt and desperation I felt at having two daughters on meth, on the streets. I am glad that I was able to tell her how I felt. I told her that their addiction and the choices they made set me on my own journey, as a mother of drug addicts. I needed to learn how to cope with this reality, that I had no control over their lives. “I prayed and gave both of you back to God, and ask Him daily to watch over you.” She asked if I would put things on the side for her that I didn’t want, clothes and towels and such. I replied “ Why would I do anything to support your street life?” I’m not cold hearted, that is the facts. She has a bench warrant for an ongoing case from 2018 (she keeps violating probation, missing court dates and such.) I told her that she should get a hold of her P.O. and take steps to right her life. I don’t know if any of what I said will sink in. Hopefully one day it will, but I am not feeling as sad and awful as I usually do when in contact with her. It’s a giant heap of “It is what it is.” But that’s today. Thank you Acacia, I have appreciated your posts as well. Posting here helps me work through this mess. I’m sure my two feel the same of me. They would rather we abandon ourselves and slowly fade with the hurt of it all. That makes it easier to manipulate us into doing their bidding. No mas. It does hurt, Acacia. We did not raise our beloveds with this outcome in mind, that’s for sure. Meth is a horrible soul snatcher. Thank you Acacia. We wish for that Norman Rockwell Christmas dinner, with all of our loved ones there. Tornado actually texted me yesterday, apologizing for the stress she has caused. I told her that I loved her, that she has way more value than the choices she is making and hoped that she would find her way towards sobriety. We all have to do what brings us peace. I am working hard at that, trying my best to focus on my well children and grands. I have spent many years in desperation for my two, that did nothing to change their ways. So, I had to change mine. I hope that you had a lovely day, even though there is that tinge of melancholy. I have found that when my heart and thoughts go there, a prayer really helps to calm me. I have decided to focus on being thankful for the joyous times I had raising my children. When they become adults they will do as they wish. May peace and joy be with all of us! (((Hugs))) New Leaf Thank you so much for sharing, Acacia. You are a wonderful soul. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The Appearance
Top