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Parent Emeritus
The Apple and the Tree...
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 739419" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Elsi,</p><p></p><p>It's so tempting to play the 'what if' and 'if only' game. Most of us do the best we can under difficult circumstances, and there's no way of knowing the outcome. Don't beat yourself up.</p><p>I once said to my therapist that maybe my son would be doing better if I had been harder on him. Her reply was 'maybe,' but he might also be doing worse.</p><p></p><p>My 32 year old difficult son was angry that I won't take him in. He blames his stepdad and me for everything bad in his life, and now he's back in jail. As they say in 12 step: I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it. That is up to your son, and like mine, it sounds as though he has a long way to go, but that doesn't mean doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.</p><p></p><p>Prayers and positive for you and your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 739419, member: 19832"] Elsi, It's so tempting to play the 'what if' and 'if only' game. Most of us do the best we can under difficult circumstances, and there's no way of knowing the outcome. Don't beat yourself up. I once said to my therapist that maybe my son would be doing better if I had been harder on him. Her reply was 'maybe,' but he might also be doing worse. My 32 year old difficult son was angry that I won't take him in. He blames his stepdad and me for everything bad in his life, and now he's back in jail. As they say in 12 step: I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it. That is up to your son, and like mine, it sounds as though he has a long way to go, but that doesn't mean doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Prayers and positive for you and your family. [/QUOTE]
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