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the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 722877" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Copa, I see so much progression in both of you as you both find your way through this.</p><p></p><p>That is a beautiful description of a relationship, a <em>conversation.</em> I am glad you are able to have this with your son. I do hope that one day this will be so for my two. I continue to pray for that.</p><p>You most certainly are growing. Moving and doing. I remember when we were both going through a sort of paralysis with this, each in our own way. But I suppose that was a stage of learning as well. The hurt of it is difficult to work through.</p><p> So true. I struggled with the term “unconditional love” I think that is what the story is about. My two see it as having them home, living as they wish. I see it as loving them, even as they go through the darkness of their choices, but knowing also it is not good for them or my household that they be here. I love them with all of my heart. It does not mean that I will not set boundaries. My challenge is how to start the “conversation” literally and figuratively. I know the answer will come soon enough. I also know that it can’t be at the expense of my peace and my life. Too much water under the bridge.</p><p></p><p>Yes. Me too. The difference being, my Tornado has asked to “come home”, but, not to better her life, or ours. It has been to make it easier for her to continue as is. It has been heart breaking to say I love you, but you need to go to a shelter” “It hasn’t worked for you or us here” , but each time, I have to remind myself of the truth of those words. I have to recover from the sickening feeling at the pit of my stomach.</p><p>I’m not writing this to sway you in any way. I think I am working out why that “conversation” is not possible for my situation at this point in time? I hope and pray for it, but it is what it is for now.</p><p> Thank you for sharing your journey, we all learn from one another’s stories.</p><p>We are all finding our way in this world.</p><p>Different routes. </p><p>I went through the possibility in my mind while reading your posts that I had grown cold. Indifferent to my two. But I have not. I love them. But I won’t allow myself to be abused.</p><p>Reality is we all have our unique scenarios with our d cs. No one formula for all.</p><p>I think your son is at a much different juncture here.</p><p> For me, I have to work on not sinking into an abyss <em>along with my two</em>. </p><p>Reinforcing to myself that my emotions don’t have to mirror their current choices.</p><p>It’s hard. I sink, but catch myself a little faster than before.</p><p>It has been a long road for many of us.</p><p>I guess the trick is how to navigate the path without losing ourselves along the way.</p><p>Whatever way <em>we</em> choose.</p><p>I think we are finding ourselves, Copa.</p><p>And that’s a good thing.</p><p>I will pray for a good conversation between you and your son.</p><p>And hugs.</p><p>Hugs are good.</p><p>I hope you get to hug him.</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 722877, member: 19522"] Copa, I see so much progression in both of you as you both find your way through this. That is a beautiful description of a relationship, a [I]conversation.[/I] I am glad you are able to have this with your son. I do hope that one day this will be so for my two. I continue to pray for that. You most certainly are growing. Moving and doing. I remember when we were both going through a sort of paralysis with this, each in our own way. But I suppose that was a stage of learning as well. The hurt of it is difficult to work through. So true. I struggled with the term “unconditional love” I think that is what the story is about. My two see it as having them home, living as they wish. I see it as loving them, even as they go through the darkness of their choices, but knowing also it is not good for them or my household that they be here. I love them with all of my heart. It does not mean that I will not set boundaries. My challenge is how to start the “conversation” literally and figuratively. I know the answer will come soon enough. I also know that it can’t be at the expense of my peace and my life. Too much water under the bridge. Yes. Me too. The difference being, my Tornado has asked to “come home”, but, not to better her life, or ours. It has been to make it easier for her to continue as is. It has been heart breaking to say I love you, but you need to go to a shelter” “It hasn’t worked for you or us here” , but each time, I have to remind myself of the truth of those words. I have to recover from the sickening feeling at the pit of my stomach. I’m not writing this to sway you in any way. I think I am working out why that “conversation” is not possible for my situation at this point in time? I hope and pray for it, but it is what it is for now. Thank you for sharing your journey, we all learn from one another’s stories. We are all finding our way in this world. Different routes. I went through the possibility in my mind while reading your posts that I had grown cold. Indifferent to my two. But I have not. I love them. But I won’t allow myself to be abused. Reality is we all have our unique scenarios with our d cs. No one formula for all. I think your son is at a much different juncture here. For me, I have to work on not sinking into an abyss [I]along with my two[/I]. Reinforcing to myself that my emotions don’t have to mirror their current choices. It’s hard. I sink, but catch myself a little faster than before. It has been a long road for many of us. I guess the trick is how to navigate the path without losing ourselves along the way. Whatever way [I]we[/I] choose. I think we are finding ourselves, Copa. And that’s a good thing. I will pray for a good conversation between you and your son. And hugs. Hugs are good. I hope you get to hug him. Leafy [/QUOTE]
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