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the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 723203" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p><u><strong><em></em></strong></u></p><p><u><strong><em>hope</em></strong></u>: feeling of <u>expectation and desire</u> for a certain thing to happen. (definition on internet)</p><p></p><p>I don''t want to put a damper on an uplifting moment, but I am becoming more aware of clearly defining and understanding my terms. <em> Hope</em> (<em>or this definition of hope above)</em> is a dangerous thing for me. Hope (<em>expectation / desire</em>) is not reality and hope is not a plan. (Sorry if we are just talking semantics here perhaps? I confess the word easily rolls off my tongue at times without thought.) There is an acronmym for HOPE I came across (<em>Hang On / Pray Earnestly</em>) that actually made more sense / more acceptable to me if I applied it correctly.</p><p></p><p>Being hopeful <em>(with emotion and with expectation and desire</em>) is too fragile and risky, with too much potential for disappointment.</p><p></p><p>Instead of hope, I try to practice being "thankful" for the "now" and for all that "is what it is" - thankful in <em><strong><u>all</u></strong></em> things (not just the good) ~ having a gladness in my heart (even when tears are flowing) and knowing that all things work together for their purpose.</p><p></p><p>I don’t understand all this stuff that happens with our difficult children. I used to want answers and thought answers would help ... I have come to think that answers are not what we need. From a lot of what I learned on this forum, I have come to see that if I just <em>surrender</em> (with thanks) to what is, then the questions evaporate. I can then get my own "heart" right with thankfulness. Only then am I able to take action on what's needful for boundaries and appropriate support for my son in a realistic and practical way, leaving emotion and turmoil and despair out of it. He has seen the change in me, and I think he understands and accepts where I am coming from.</p><p></p><p>We are all in this together. I am thankful for these forums and that we have each other on this site. It is better than any therapy I could have sought in my trials.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 723203, member: 19617"] [U][B][I] hope[/I][/B][/U]: feeling of [U]expectation and desire[/U] for a certain thing to happen. (definition on internet) I don''t want to put a damper on an uplifting moment, but I am becoming more aware of clearly defining and understanding my terms. [I] Hope[/I] ([I]or this definition of hope above)[/I] is a dangerous thing for me. Hope ([I]expectation / desire[/I]) is not reality and hope is not a plan. (Sorry if we are just talking semantics here perhaps? I confess the word easily rolls off my tongue at times without thought.) There is an acronmym for HOPE I came across ([I]Hang On / Pray Earnestly[/I]) that actually made more sense / more acceptable to me if I applied it correctly. Being hopeful [I](with emotion and with expectation and desire[/I]) is too fragile and risky, with too much potential for disappointment. Instead of hope, I try to practice being "thankful" for the "now" and for all that "is what it is" - thankful in [I][B][U]all[/U][/B][/I] things (not just the good) ~ having a gladness in my heart (even when tears are flowing) and knowing that all things work together for their purpose. I don’t understand all this stuff that happens with our difficult children. I used to want answers and thought answers would help ... I have come to think that answers are not what we need. From a lot of what I learned on this forum, I have come to see that if I just [I]surrender[/I] (with thanks) to what is, then the questions evaporate. I can then get my own "heart" right with thankfulness. Only then am I able to take action on what's needful for boundaries and appropriate support for my son in a realistic and practical way, leaving emotion and turmoil and despair out of it. He has seen the change in me, and I think he understands and accepts where I am coming from. We are all in this together. I am thankful for these forums and that we have each other on this site. It is better than any therapy I could have sought in my trials. [/QUOTE]
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the ball is in his court??
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