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the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 723211" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>Hope, yes with no expectations. I believe in hope and keeping the expectations in check. I fear if I lose hope so will my son.</p><p></p><p>To be hopeless is have an expectation or acceptance of failure. As Victor Frankle taught is. Man will always under achieve the expectations set for him. So I try desperately to keep a focus on the hope of change Corp my son and ensure that he knows this every day.</p><p></p><p>This is the challenge of detaching with love and leading by example.</p><p></p><p>When things shift and we are taken away from the norm, out of our comfort zone and our expectations of the pattern of what is, even if it is a negative pattern creates anxiety, uncertainty and fear. These are all normal responses to change.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is so wonderful. I am sending all the positive energy to the universe to make a connection happen, that light to click. It is another courageous step.</p><p></p><p>7 days from now if there is a positive drug test, try to use it to encourage him to seek help. They feel enough shame and guilt all on their own. This is a process I STRUGGLE with. I get hurt, angry, disappointed and so upset. I often lash out and then regret it so much. I am learning to put compassion and firm boundaries at the front of the bus. Making reactive anger ride in the back seats.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I love this, it makes a lot of sense.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am on a teeter totter with the understanding that questions are not what we need, I back slide a lot into questioning mode. Accepting it is what it is is a much calmer place for my brain to live. I am learning day by day. Step by step.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Kalahou. I could not agree with this more. Years of therapy and a snails pace of improvement. The forum is a support and guide like no other. I have grown exponentially on the benefit of other people’s wisdom here. </p><p></p><p>Copa my head is in a muddle with respect to my son. I have to digest it all before I can begin to articulate my present state regarding my dear son.</p><p></p><p>I am pleased for you if not just for today.</p><p></p><p>We have both Costco and Home Depot here. I love both as well. I like the once’s in California better, they carry wine.</p><p></p><p>Oh for those of you who do not know Canadian liquor laws we have government rein liquor stores and beer stores. Just recently we have had wine and beer shops open at the grocery store. I still feel like I am in the twilight zone when I see wine in our grocery store.</p><p></p><p>I am a big cross boarder shopper. Living close to the US boarder (40min). Always cheaper even with our weak currency and a lot more variety too.</p><p></p><p>I was stunned to see Costco and Home Depot in Cabo San Lucas. I I had not been there in 30 years. Things sure have changed.</p><p></p><p>I am slowing learning how to live in the now. Be compassionate and not reactive.</p><p></p><p><a href="https://tinybuddha.com/blog/living-in-the-now-when-its-stressful-4-mindfulness-tips/" target="_blank">Living in the Now When It’s Stressful: 4 Mindfulness Tips</a></p><p></p><p>Great tips in this link.</p><p></p><p>Stay calm, stay strong and stay in the Now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 723211, member: 21895"] Hope, yes with no expectations. I believe in hope and keeping the expectations in check. I fear if I lose hope so will my son. To be hopeless is have an expectation or acceptance of failure. As Victor Frankle taught is. Man will always under achieve the expectations set for him. So I try desperately to keep a focus on the hope of change Corp my son and ensure that he knows this every day. This is the challenge of detaching with love and leading by example. When things shift and we are taken away from the norm, out of our comfort zone and our expectations of the pattern of what is, even if it is a negative pattern creates anxiety, uncertainty and fear. These are all normal responses to change. That is so wonderful. I am sending all the positive energy to the universe to make a connection happen, that light to click. It is another courageous step. 7 days from now if there is a positive drug test, try to use it to encourage him to seek help. They feel enough shame and guilt all on their own. This is a process I STRUGGLE with. I get hurt, angry, disappointed and so upset. I often lash out and then regret it so much. I am learning to put compassion and firm boundaries at the front of the bus. Making reactive anger ride in the back seats. I love this, it makes a lot of sense. I am on a teeter totter with the understanding that questions are not what we need, I back slide a lot into questioning mode. Accepting it is what it is is a much calmer place for my brain to live. I am learning day by day. Step by step. Kalahou. I could not agree with this more. Years of therapy and a snails pace of improvement. The forum is a support and guide like no other. I have grown exponentially on the benefit of other people’s wisdom here. Copa my head is in a muddle with respect to my son. I have to digest it all before I can begin to articulate my present state regarding my dear son. I am pleased for you if not just for today. We have both Costco and Home Depot here. I love both as well. I like the once’s in California better, they carry wine. Oh for those of you who do not know Canadian liquor laws we have government rein liquor stores and beer stores. Just recently we have had wine and beer shops open at the grocery store. I still feel like I am in the twilight zone when I see wine in our grocery store. I am a big cross boarder shopper. Living close to the US boarder (40min). Always cheaper even with our weak currency and a lot more variety too. I was stunned to see Costco and Home Depot in Cabo San Lucas. I I had not been there in 30 years. Things sure have changed. I am slowing learning how to live in the now. Be compassionate and not reactive. [URL='https://tinybuddha.com/blog/living-in-the-now-when-its-stressful-4-mindfulness-tips/']Living in the Now When It’s Stressful: 4 Mindfulness Tips[/URL] Great tips in this link. Stay calm, stay strong and stay in the Now. [/QUOTE]
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the ball is in his court??
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