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the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 724301" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>lbl. your post though informative and welcome was painful and tragic to read.</p><p></p><p>your son's distress. the loss of the two young men. to me this implicates our societies. that tolerates this sacrifice and then does not act. this should be the foremost national emergency. </p><p></p><p>why are we not convening as communities to ask ourselves, what is missing in our societies? for our children. and how can we create it? in ourselves. our relationships (including to ourselves)our institutions. our values.our priorities.</p><p></p><p>what do we need to do to create the support and sustain meaning and connection that this not happen to our children? that they value and view themselves and their lives as fundamentally important that they would stop before this plunge.</p><p></p><p>i just hate for you to have to endure this. but know you well enough to know that for you there is no alternative. </p><p></p><p>oh. i respect you so much lbl. and i am so grateful (and at the same time--sorry--you know) you and everybody else are here. </p><p></p><p>there is so much love and goodness here. i am looking at each of you.</p><p></p><p>i am praying that there will be a bed in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for your son very, very shortly.</p><p></p><p>my son got hysterical 2x yesterday when first m and later i said he would be out if this drug use continued. he said he would rather die than be homeless again.</p><p></p><p>like this is a hurricane or earthquake. an act of g-d. not his.</p><p></p><p>like we are doing this to him. ejecting him when he is a victim of some arbitrary disaster.</p><p></p><p>don't you understand j? that this would be a direct consequence of your behavior?</p><p></p><p>except you are right lbl. the dependency makes them feel hijacked. it is kind of like a stockholm syndrome. they have abdicated their will to their oppressor.</p><p></p><p>i understand better now lbl. thank you. i am better able to understand and respond in terms of support, tools and knowledge-- and not choice.</p><p></p><p>srtl. i'm with you about the lying. and for me there is way more than an iota of compassion for his sadness, loneliness and lack of purpose. it engulfs me. which is how i arrive at self-abandonment.</p><p></p><p>new leaf. thank you for your unflagging support. yes. the inability or block to feel empathy, compassion, regret for the effects of their behavior, their presence, on others gives me whiplash. is it guilt? is it a defense mechanism?</p><p></p><p>sam you uttered the dirty word: the loaded, seductive, dangerous word. hope.</p><p></p><p>i am learning slowly the concept that i can only locate hope in myself. for myself. because once i locate it as about his life i start building castles in the sand. this is both inappropriate and wrong and i am the one who inevitably is crashed by waves.</p><p></p><p>thank you everybody.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 724301, member: 18958"] lbl. your post though informative and welcome was painful and tragic to read. your son's distress. the loss of the two young men. to me this implicates our societies. that tolerates this sacrifice and then does not act. this should be the foremost national emergency. why are we not convening as communities to ask ourselves, what is missing in our societies? for our children. and how can we create it? in ourselves. our relationships (including to ourselves)our institutions. our values.our priorities. what do we need to do to create the support and sustain meaning and connection that this not happen to our children? that they value and view themselves and their lives as fundamentally important that they would stop before this plunge. i just hate for you to have to endure this. but know you well enough to know that for you there is no alternative. oh. i respect you so much lbl. and i am so grateful (and at the same time--sorry--you know) you and everybody else are here. there is so much love and goodness here. i am looking at each of you. i am praying that there will be a bed in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for your son very, very shortly. my son got hysterical 2x yesterday when first m and later i said he would be out if this drug use continued. he said he would rather die than be homeless again. like this is a hurricane or earthquake. an act of g-d. not his. like we are doing this to him. ejecting him when he is a victim of some arbitrary disaster. don't you understand j? that this would be a direct consequence of your behavior? except you are right lbl. the dependency makes them feel hijacked. it is kind of like a stockholm syndrome. they have abdicated their will to their oppressor. i understand better now lbl. thank you. i am better able to understand and respond in terms of support, tools and knowledge-- and not choice. srtl. i'm with you about the lying. and for me there is way more than an iota of compassion for his sadness, loneliness and lack of purpose. it engulfs me. which is how i arrive at self-abandonment. new leaf. thank you for your unflagging support. yes. the inability or block to feel empathy, compassion, regret for the effects of their behavior, their presence, on others gives me whiplash. is it guilt? is it a defense mechanism? sam you uttered the dirty word: the loaded, seductive, dangerous word. hope. i am learning slowly the concept that i can only locate hope in myself. for myself. because once i locate it as about his life i start building castles in the sand. this is both inappropriate and wrong and i am the one who inevitably is crashed by waves. thank you everybody. [/QUOTE]
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