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the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 724382" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I awoke this morning and read your post and all of those feelings came flooding in. The sadness of my twos journeys. The feeling bereft of not having an ounce of control over their choices, that they continue to choose as they do. Thinking how casually Rain mentions the conditions she lives in at the park.</p><p>I went for my walk sorting through these feelings and asking God to help lift my two up, and me, too. It is not easy to maintain faith. It is a <em>suffering</em> that our d cs choose as they do, a chasm, a void. A marathon, with the weather and terrain changing, with daily tasks at hand, sometimes the absurdity looming over as a dark cloud, and still we have to somehow carry on.</p><p>It is a loneliness.</p><p></p><p>Then, I started to think on how we become accustomed to focus on that cloud, that we cannot see the little things.</p><p></p><p>Is that not faith, to be able to see the little miracles around us, despite the difficulties we face.</p><p></p><p>I started to push away the vision of Rain living in the park and focused on one small, but really wonderful connection.</p><p>On that recent family gathering, Rain held Hoku's nine month old, the baby has not spent much time with her Aunty because of her circumstances. Though not really knowing Rain, she stayed calm and content in her lap intensely gazing at her Auntys' face, as Rain tenderly held her.</p><p> I saw my daughter, I did.</p><p><em>It has been a long time</em>.</p><p>I am holding on to that one special moment in hopes that it is a tiny spark that will light a fire in Rain to understand her value and worth, her potential.</p><p>This....is wonderful, Copa, that he has a connection.</p><p>On my walk, I was thinking also of Helen Keller. For some reason, I have had a recurring memory of that scene at the dinner table, where the family is eating and Helen was circling the table, reaching for food on everyones plates, no one seemed to notice, or mind, but there was Anne Sullivan, shocked and appalled.</p><p>I think our d cs become much like Helen Keller at that dinner table, taking whatever they please, without a thought to how <em>wrong </em>it all is. Or maybe, they secretly know, but don't know how to stop, as much as we don't know how to stop them. We become so conditioned to the same old, same old.</p><p>They look upon us as a sort of pit stop, a motel where they can help themselves to whatever they want.</p><p>Back to the Miracle Worker........</p><p>In steps Anne Sullivan, <em>demands</em> that if she is going to teach Helen, she will do it her way.</p><p>The family is shocked. Resistant. They feel sorry for their child. Reluctantly, they let Anne stay and teach their child. To the point where she takes Helen to a cabin in the woods and the family is not allowed to interfere.</p><p>I have to watch the movie again, it has been quite some time.</p><p></p><p> Could this be your sons Anne Sullivan? I do hope so.</p><p>"People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved."</p><p>Anne Sullivan</p><p>If not, it is what it is.</p><p>But he is sounding different.</p><p>Painful steps. Insignificant success.</p><p>The hard part is knowing if it is real or not, only time will tell.</p><p>For the present moment, this is all sounding so different then your past posts.</p><p>A good thing.</p><p>A shift in speaking.</p><p></p><p>We are trained in this modern world to expect instant results. When my internet is slow, I find myself a bit annoyed. Imagine that? Remember in the old days, we had to go to the library to research, look through card catalogues. I have an old card catalogue cabinet that I repurposed for art supplies.</p><p> I don't think there are many left.</p><p>Ahem.</p><p>Businesses and schools want measurable outcomes, so on and so on. We have become a society of expectations for things to be a certain way.</p><p>Life is just racing by.</p><p>It is a constant grind.</p><p>It is a no wonder when things don't happen as we wish, we are vexed. Add in the intense love we have for our d cs, and it is a hard task indeed, to find peace, even as our beloveds struggle with their challenges.</p><p>Oh the anxiety this creates within us.</p><p> Oh, I am really having to watch the Miracle Worker again, as I vaguely remember these scenes that are flashing into my thoughts. The cabin. Helen and Anne. The struggle to open up a world for Helen that she didn't know existed.</p><p>The anxiety her parents felt.</p><p>It was really up to Helens capacity to learn, to grasp the concept, to unlock the potential she had to open up the world, literally at her fingertips. That water pump scene where Anne over and over signed water onto Helens palm as the water flowed.</p><p>This is what we hope for our beloveds, that they will come out of their half wild, drug hazed, blind and deaf state, understand the connection and learn to live to their potential.</p><p>After dealing with the ups and downs of this for so long, it is understandable how it is harder to be on the cusp of change. Like breath holding. Wanting the best outcome, but being cautious about getting ones hope up, for fear that things may come crashing down.</p><p>Sigh.</p><p>I am sorry Copa for the pain of it.</p><p>It is a hurt like no other.</p><p></p><p>And it is his journey.</p><p></p><p>As is my two girls, because they will do what they do.</p><p></p><p>So, I think we have our own journeys, too. As we synchronistically slid down that rabbit hole when the kids first were in trouble, we are also climbing out of it.</p><p>The trick is to climb out</p><p>no matter if they do, or not.</p><p></p><p>Tough work.</p><p></p><p>“If you are not living this moment, you are not really living”</p><p>Eckhart Tolle</p><p></p><p></p><p>I am fascinated by Eckhart Tolles story. He drifted and couch surfed for two years.</p><p> Figuring stuff out.</p><p></p><p>Anyway.</p><p></p><p>Here, this from my Dads favorite, Epictetus</p><p></p><p>“Caretake this moment. Immerse yourself in its particulars. Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed. Quit evasions. Stop giving yourself needless trouble. It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you are in now.”</p><p></p><p>Group Hugs, dear sister. It <em>will</em> turn out in the end.</p><p></p><p>“If we see someone as he is, then we make him worse, but if we overestimate him, then we promote him to what he could be.”</p><p>Viktor Frankl</p><p></p><p>LBL mentioned on another post that we are starthrowers and you commented that you are just learning about our parts made up of stars.</p><p> </p><p>Since reading that, I have Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young’s chorus from Woodstock looping in my head</p><p>“We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon, and we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.”</p><p></p><p>“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.”</p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/10538.Carl_Sagan" target="_blank">Carl Sagan</a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55030.Cosmos" target="_blank">Cosmos</a></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Each and every one of us has that spark and potential.</p><p> We just have to discover it.</p><p></p><p>Keep working on your spark, as your son navigates his way towards his.</p><p></p><p>You are stardust my dear and you matter.</p><p>Your joy and peace matter.</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p><p>Ps: I am encouraged by your sons progress, it is a good thing, a very good thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 724382, member: 19522"] I awoke this morning and read your post and all of those feelings came flooding in. The sadness of my twos journeys. The feeling bereft of not having an ounce of control over their choices, that they continue to choose as they do. Thinking how casually Rain mentions the conditions she lives in at the park. I went for my walk sorting through these feelings and asking God to help lift my two up, and me, too. It is not easy to maintain faith. It is a [I]suffering[/I] that our d cs choose as they do, a chasm, a void. A marathon, with the weather and terrain changing, with daily tasks at hand, sometimes the absurdity looming over as a dark cloud, and still we have to somehow carry on. It is a loneliness. Then, I started to think on how we become accustomed to focus on that cloud, that we cannot see the little things. Is that not faith, to be able to see the little miracles around us, despite the difficulties we face. I started to push away the vision of Rain living in the park and focused on one small, but really wonderful connection. On that recent family gathering, Rain held Hoku's nine month old, the baby has not spent much time with her Aunty because of her circumstances. Though not really knowing Rain, she stayed calm and content in her lap intensely gazing at her Auntys' face, as Rain tenderly held her. I saw my daughter, I did. [I]It has been a long time[/I]. I am holding on to that one special moment in hopes that it is a tiny spark that will light a fire in Rain to understand her value and worth, her potential. This....is wonderful, Copa, that he has a connection. On my walk, I was thinking also of Helen Keller. For some reason, I have had a recurring memory of that scene at the dinner table, where the family is eating and Helen was circling the table, reaching for food on everyones plates, no one seemed to notice, or mind, but there was Anne Sullivan, shocked and appalled. I think our d cs become much like Helen Keller at that dinner table, taking whatever they please, without a thought to how [I]wrong [/I]it all is. Or maybe, they secretly know, but don't know how to stop, as much as we don't know how to stop them. We become so conditioned to the same old, same old. They look upon us as a sort of pit stop, a motel where they can help themselves to whatever they want. Back to the Miracle Worker........ In steps Anne Sullivan, [I]demands[/I] that if she is going to teach Helen, she will do it her way. The family is shocked. Resistant. They feel sorry for their child. Reluctantly, they let Anne stay and teach their child. To the point where she takes Helen to a cabin in the woods and the family is not allowed to interfere. I have to watch the movie again, it has been quite some time. Could this be your sons Anne Sullivan? I do hope so. "People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved." Anne Sullivan If not, it is what it is. But he is sounding different. Painful steps. Insignificant success. The hard part is knowing if it is real or not, only time will tell. For the present moment, this is all sounding so different then your past posts. A good thing. A shift in speaking. We are trained in this modern world to expect instant results. When my internet is slow, I find myself a bit annoyed. Imagine that? Remember in the old days, we had to go to the library to research, look through card catalogues. I have an old card catalogue cabinet that I repurposed for art supplies. I don't think there are many left. Ahem. Businesses and schools want measurable outcomes, so on and so on. We have become a society of expectations for things to be a certain way. Life is just racing by. It is a constant grind. It is a no wonder when things don't happen as we wish, we are vexed. Add in the intense love we have for our d cs, and it is a hard task indeed, to find peace, even as our beloveds struggle with their challenges. Oh the anxiety this creates within us. Oh, I am really having to watch the Miracle Worker again, as I vaguely remember these scenes that are flashing into my thoughts. The cabin. Helen and Anne. The struggle to open up a world for Helen that she didn't know existed. The anxiety her parents felt. It was really up to Helens capacity to learn, to grasp the concept, to unlock the potential she had to open up the world, literally at her fingertips. That water pump scene where Anne over and over signed water onto Helens palm as the water flowed. This is what we hope for our beloveds, that they will come out of their half wild, drug hazed, blind and deaf state, understand the connection and learn to live to their potential. After dealing with the ups and downs of this for so long, it is understandable how it is harder to be on the cusp of change. Like breath holding. Wanting the best outcome, but being cautious about getting ones hope up, for fear that things may come crashing down. Sigh. I am sorry Copa for the pain of it. It is a hurt like no other. And it is his journey. As is my two girls, because they will do what they do. So, I think we have our own journeys, too. As we synchronistically slid down that rabbit hole when the kids first were in trouble, we are also climbing out of it. The trick is to climb out no matter if they do, or not. Tough work. “If you are not living this moment, you are not really living” Eckhart Tolle I am fascinated by Eckhart Tolles story. He drifted and couch surfed for two years. Figuring stuff out. Anyway. Here, this from my Dads favorite, Epictetus “Caretake this moment. Immerse yourself in its particulars. Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed. Quit evasions. Stop giving yourself needless trouble. It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you are in now.” Group Hugs, dear sister. It [I]will[/I] turn out in the end. “If we see someone as he is, then we make him worse, but if we overestimate him, then we promote him to what he could be.” Viktor Frankl LBL mentioned on another post that we are starthrowers and you commented that you are just learning about our parts made up of stars. Since reading that, I have Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young’s chorus from Woodstock looping in my head “We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon, and we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.” “The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/10538.Carl_Sagan']Carl Sagan[/URL], [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55030.Cosmos']Cosmos[/URL] Each and every one of us has that spark and potential. We just have to discover it. Keep working on your spark, as your son navigates his way towards his. You are stardust my dear and you matter. Your joy and peace matter. (((Hugs))) Leafy Ps: I am encouraged by your sons progress, it is a good thing, a very good thing. [/QUOTE]
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