I think that sometimes, as women, we think that living our own lives is equal to selfishness. It is so far removed from being selfish. It simply means that you acknowledge you are an individual life, seperate from but connected to other's lifes by tiny gossamar threads.
Luckily, I was raised with the epitome of a healthy marriage as a model. My grandparents, God rest their souls, gave all of us the biggest gifts by alllowing us to see, in an age where it was not the norm, that marriage does not mean you give up who you are. You can have seperate interests, friends, activities. It give you something to talk about when you are together. There were many times my grandmother would take off and go with her women friends on retreats--sometimes for a week. My grandfather loved working with Big Brothers and enjoyed taking different religious classes. My grandfather loved to dance. My grandmother did not. When I was 17, he and I took square dance lessons together so he could have a partner. She loved the movies---he hated to sit in a theatre---so she often went with her friends. But their love was always there. They kissed after morning prayer---before he left for work, when he came home, and after evening prayer. Always--
They allowed each other the freedom to enjoy life. It was a thing of beauty that marriage.
I think being a wife and mother is great. But, I, like Fran, wear so many different hats in life. I enjoy each part---not always, but when one gets too cumbersome---there's always another to wear for a while.
