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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 753857" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Leafy, I think you are doing a great job. Your grandson can decide to get help and heal. It is so frustrating when they don't make that choice so I hope he does. I pray that he does.</p><p></p><p>Leafy, I spent over a decade trying to figure out why. I know early trauma can affect the brain. But what always puzzled me is how Kay's damage made her violent and mean and self sabotaging while others, such as Pelzer, dealt with his trauma in a way that helped himself and others. His path was difficult but he made the best choices somebody can when processing so many long term demons. Why did Kay not do things like David did? That is what used to stump me and drive me close to insanity. It did not have to be like this for Kay. She was not alone in her fight (Pelzer was). So why didn't she join the military and get therapy and try to do her best instead of using drugs and breaking the law and acting hateful? Traumatized people have choices too. </p><p></p><p>Your grandson is still young. Hopefully as he matures he does decide to heal. He can. Anyone can. All it takes is desire and the right kind of help. I hope he does not reject help as Kay did and still does. He can very well decide to do it better. </p><p></p><p>Attachment Disorder is sooooooo difficult. That was one of David Pelzer's diagnoses. There is no across the charts agreement on how to help attachment disorder, but many people do heal from it.</p><p></p><p>Leafy, you clearly are a wonderful person doing all you can. I, like you, wonder why it is hard. I ponder if God wants us to learn lessons from our hard choices. I don't believe anything happens just because it does. I always feel God is behind it and that He ultimately has my back. I know not everyone has this perspective. No matter what our perspective is, this is hard.</p><p></p><p>Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 753857, member: 23706"] Leafy, I think you are doing a great job. Your grandson can decide to get help and heal. It is so frustrating when they don't make that choice so I hope he does. I pray that he does. Leafy, I spent over a decade trying to figure out why. I know early trauma can affect the brain. But what always puzzled me is how Kay's damage made her violent and mean and self sabotaging while others, such as Pelzer, dealt with his trauma in a way that helped himself and others. His path was difficult but he made the best choices somebody can when processing so many long term demons. Why did Kay not do things like David did? That is what used to stump me and drive me close to insanity. It did not have to be like this for Kay. She was not alone in her fight (Pelzer was). So why didn't she join the military and get therapy and try to do her best instead of using drugs and breaking the law and acting hateful? Traumatized people have choices too. Your grandson is still young. Hopefully as he matures he does decide to heal. He can. Anyone can. All it takes is desire and the right kind of help. I hope he does not reject help as Kay did and still does. He can very well decide to do it better. Attachment Disorder is sooooooo difficult. That was one of David Pelzer's diagnoses. There is no across the charts agreement on how to help attachment disorder, but many people do heal from it. Leafy, you clearly are a wonderful person doing all you can. I, like you, wonder why it is hard. I ponder if God wants us to learn lessons from our hard choices. I don't believe anything happens just because it does. I always feel God is behind it and that He ultimately has my back. I know not everyone has this perspective. No matter what our perspective is, this is hard. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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