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The David Pelzer "A Child Called It" Family War aftermath of book
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654823" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oh, Lil. Nobody has the guts to say the N word in front of me no matter how angry they are. I'm not even talking about my family. I'm talking about anyone who knows me. LOL. I have black kids and you're talking about my babies.</p><p></p><p>Suzir, I"m sure some people are skeptical, but I do think most people believe David. And, as I said to Lil, if the only thing she did to David was to make him eat scraps of food alone and made his family refer to him as an "it" that is already major abuse. If you are abused, it really doesn't matter to the victim if they get so sensitive that they maybe overthink something. When you hear "stupid" "selifh" "lazy" "bad" in a mocking, humiliating tone over and over again, maybe you get overly sensitive to it as a c hild, but it still harms you and you continue to hear it in your head until you get the proper help. An interesting analogy would be dogs (I love animals nad have volunteered in our humane society). Many dogs who have been hit never get over a human putting a hand on their head...they jump or cower as if they are about to get whacked, even if it hasn't ever happened by that person or in years.</p><p></p><p>I bought everything my mother REPEATEDLY told me I was and she was not nice about the way she worded things. The only exception was the selfish part...I knew I wasn't, but it hurt more that she said I was. Later on she used things I had told her and smeared them to my sister and probably my brother. I have read a lot more abuse stories than David Pelzers. I am attracted to them partly to see how they heal from abuse that was both emotional and physical...many of them have very creative ways. Some do not heal. However, most of th e stories are similar to David Pelzer's. Many are even worse. And they all lived.And the ones who write their stories usually have satisfying endings.</p><p></p><p>Nobody is a perfect parent and I am not either. I have made mistakes. I do two things my mother never did. If I do something wrong, I ALWAYS apologize and take the full blame and make sure there is a hug and a kiss. Another thing I never did, even when I was angry (and I almost never raised my voice to my kids) is they never were called names. It was too ingrained in my brain about how horrible I was and how namecalling from a parent can make you think you are exactly what they call you. Thankfully, except for Goneboy (and you know that his history with the family did not start until late and he had attachment issues) my kids feel they had good childhoods. Bart thinks his childhood was great, even though he was in therapy and had behavior problems. I am grateful for that. The greatest gift you can give your kids are good childhoods. It feels great to feel loved by those who mean so much to you...your spouse and kids. And Bart and I have had our battles...we have loved one another though all of them and he was never called a nasty name once. Nor Princess during the drug days. Ah, such happy thoughts after discussing abuse!!!! When I want to cover up the abuse from FOO, I think about my real family and Jumper coming home this week!!!!!!!!! Yay!</p><p></p><p>Suzir, as always, I respect your thoughts and love hearing from you <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. I think you made some excellent points and honestly you are very intelligent. Again, I have to marvel at how good you are with English.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654823, member: 1550"] Oh, Lil. Nobody has the guts to say the N word in front of me no matter how angry they are. I'm not even talking about my family. I'm talking about anyone who knows me. LOL. I have black kids and you're talking about my babies. Suzir, I"m sure some people are skeptical, but I do think most people believe David. And, as I said to Lil, if the only thing she did to David was to make him eat scraps of food alone and made his family refer to him as an "it" that is already major abuse. If you are abused, it really doesn't matter to the victim if they get so sensitive that they maybe overthink something. When you hear "stupid" "selifh" "lazy" "bad" in a mocking, humiliating tone over and over again, maybe you get overly sensitive to it as a c hild, but it still harms you and you continue to hear it in your head until you get the proper help. An interesting analogy would be dogs (I love animals nad have volunteered in our humane society). Many dogs who have been hit never get over a human putting a hand on their head...they jump or cower as if they are about to get whacked, even if it hasn't ever happened by that person or in years. I bought everything my mother REPEATEDLY told me I was and she was not nice about the way she worded things. The only exception was the selfish part...I knew I wasn't, but it hurt more that she said I was. Later on she used things I had told her and smeared them to my sister and probably my brother. I have read a lot more abuse stories than David Pelzers. I am attracted to them partly to see how they heal from abuse that was both emotional and physical...many of them have very creative ways. Some do not heal. However, most of th e stories are similar to David Pelzer's. Many are even worse. And they all lived.And the ones who write their stories usually have satisfying endings. Nobody is a perfect parent and I am not either. I have made mistakes. I do two things my mother never did. If I do something wrong, I ALWAYS apologize and take the full blame and make sure there is a hug and a kiss. Another thing I never did, even when I was angry (and I almost never raised my voice to my kids) is they never were called names. It was too ingrained in my brain about how horrible I was and how namecalling from a parent can make you think you are exactly what they call you. Thankfully, except for Goneboy (and you know that his history with the family did not start until late and he had attachment issues) my kids feel they had good childhoods. Bart thinks his childhood was great, even though he was in therapy and had behavior problems. I am grateful for that. The greatest gift you can give your kids are good childhoods. It feels great to feel loved by those who mean so much to you...your spouse and kids. And Bart and I have had our battles...we have loved one another though all of them and he was never called a nasty name once. Nor Princess during the drug days. Ah, such happy thoughts after discussing abuse!!!! When I want to cover up the abuse from FOO, I think about my real family and Jumper coming home this week!!!!!!!!! Yay! Suzir, as always, I respect your thoughts and love hearing from you :). I think you made some excellent points and honestly you are very intelligent. Again, I have to marvel at how good you are with English. [/QUOTE]
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The David Pelzer "A Child Called It" Family War aftermath of book
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