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The David Pelzer "A Child Called It" Family War aftermath of book
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654825" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Insane, I think a lot of our memories are memories that were only between the abuser and us. I know my siblings did not h ear lots of the interactions between my mother and me. When a battle went on, yes, they heard. But they didn't hear the little, insidious abuse that went on all my life, especially after I left the house. Things that still bother me today. Nobody heard them but me:</p><p></p><p>"Oh, you didn't adopt kids because you care about them" with dripping, humiliating mockery in her voice. "You just want the MONEY they pay you for them." Nobody heard that but me and it was ridiculous because we got a subsidy for Sonic, but nobody else and we didn't have Sonic yet. But she could not think I did anything because I had a good heart. It had to be some other reason. Just one of a gazillion examples that nobody heard, but I heard.</p><p></p><p>I have so many examples that I COULD write a memoir and a memoir is from your own point of view. I understand, when I buy a memoir, that it is written about the author and what HER experience was. Many of the authors who write about their abuse have siblings who did not experience the same degree or any abuse and they don't speak. This is common. Dysfunctional families are not exactly loving nests where everyone gets along.</p><p></p><p>You read it and decide if you believe it. I tend to believe it because my own life with FOO was so horrible and I was the scapegoated one. Others who had lovely childhoods have a hard time believing the degree of abuse that these adults write about could have really happened. If my own mother hadn't played sick mind games with me and disliked me so much, I may not have believed it either. In fact, I doubt I'd be interested in reading about abuse books. Most of them are pretty depressing, although many have happy endings.</p><p></p><p>But, yeah, a memoir is your take on what happened to you. It has nothing to do with your siblings, your cousins, your friends, your Aunt Molly, your Cousin Bob or anybody except you. They don't have to agree.</p><p></p><p>All three of us were damaged by our upbringing, however. I won't bring up specific issues, but there are obvious ones in all three of us. And they were difficult challenges and issues. I'm just the one most open to admitting my own. So this forum is good for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654825, member: 1550"] Insane, I think a lot of our memories are memories that were only between the abuser and us. I know my siblings did not h ear lots of the interactions between my mother and me. When a battle went on, yes, they heard. But they didn't hear the little, insidious abuse that went on all my life, especially after I left the house. Things that still bother me today. Nobody heard them but me: "Oh, you didn't adopt kids because you care about them" with dripping, humiliating mockery in her voice. "You just want the MONEY they pay you for them." Nobody heard that but me and it was ridiculous because we got a subsidy for Sonic, but nobody else and we didn't have Sonic yet. But she could not think I did anything because I had a good heart. It had to be some other reason. Just one of a gazillion examples that nobody heard, but I heard. I have so many examples that I COULD write a memoir and a memoir is from your own point of view. I understand, when I buy a memoir, that it is written about the author and what HER experience was. Many of the authors who write about their abuse have siblings who did not experience the same degree or any abuse and they don't speak. This is common. Dysfunctional families are not exactly loving nests where everyone gets along. You read it and decide if you believe it. I tend to believe it because my own life with FOO was so horrible and I was the scapegoated one. Others who had lovely childhoods have a hard time believing the degree of abuse that these adults write about could have really happened. If my own mother hadn't played sick mind games with me and disliked me so much, I may not have believed it either. In fact, I doubt I'd be interested in reading about abuse books. Most of them are pretty depressing, although many have happy endings. But, yeah, a memoir is your take on what happened to you. It has nothing to do with your siblings, your cousins, your friends, your Aunt Molly, your Cousin Bob or anybody except you. They don't have to agree. All three of us were damaged by our upbringing, however. I won't bring up specific issues, but there are obvious ones in all three of us. And they were difficult challenges and issues. I'm just the one most open to admitting my own. So this forum is good for me. [/QUOTE]
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The David Pelzer "A Child Called It" Family War aftermath of book
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