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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 739993" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Re and Albie I think I will hold on to this one small moment and be grateful for it. Hope without expectations. If it is a turning point, that would be wonderful. I will continue to pray for that.</p><p> I think that is key. To not step in to the rescue. It has to come of her will, and doing, <em>then she owns it. </em></p><p> This would most likely be the case.</p><p></p><p>It’s not easy, but much easier than the old frenetic feeling that <em>I must do something. </em>I know all too well that that does not work. I took all the consequences of their choices, and made them my own, hurting and grieving over something I had absolutely no control over. It was as if a transference occurred, my falling into the rabbit hole with them <em>emotionally</em>, gave them leeway to pass the blame over to me. They sensed my despair and spun me up into their web. Disentangling from that and switching focus, affords them to do the same.</p><p>The one thing I will continue to do is pray. That is the saving grace that has allowed me to survive this. That, and the help from this site.</p><p> Thank you Albie. It has been so long since I have felt her let go in my arms. It was a precious moment I will cherish.</p><p>I will continue to pray and hope that she find her way.</p><p><em><strong>It is all up to her.</strong></em></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 739993, member: 19522"] Hi Re and Albie I think I will hold on to this one small moment and be grateful for it. Hope without expectations. If it is a turning point, that would be wonderful. I will continue to pray for that. I think that is key. To not step in to the rescue. It has to come of her will, and doing, [I]then she owns it. [/I] This would most likely be the case. It’s not easy, but much easier than the old frenetic feeling that [I]I must do something. [/I]I know all too well that that does not work. I took all the consequences of their choices, and made them my own, hurting and grieving over something I had absolutely no control over. It was as if a transference occurred, my falling into the rabbit hole with them [I]emotionally[/I], gave them leeway to pass the blame over to me. They sensed my despair and spun me up into their web. Disentangling from that and switching focus, affords them to do the same. The one thing I will continue to do is pray. That is the saving grace that has allowed me to survive this. That, and the help from this site. Thank you Albie. It has been so long since I have felt her let go in my arms. It was a precious moment I will cherish. I will continue to pray and hope that she find her way. [I][B]It is all up to her.[/B][/I] (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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