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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 765721" data-attributes="member: 22597">Copa,You've given me lots of good insights, as usual.&nbsp; Yes, you are right about the reasons he is not contacting us--the all encompassing pull of fentanyl, possibly shame as well. So true. Having never been a drug user, it's hard to understand fully but this makes sense to me. He believes it's not a big deal and it makes him feel better. He has told me this. Therein lies the problem--we would go to Phoenix in a heartbeat if we had any idea of where to begin to look. We have none. He has been seen by the police in various parts of Phoenix, and I am skeptical that he is staying at CASS (the shelter). He could be. I hope he is. But to take off work, spend money on flights, motel, car rental, etc. with no idea of where to look just doesn't seem wise. In fact, in some ways, coming home without having found him would compound the pain, I think.&nbsp; I believe this is true. The catch is to learn how to let go.&nbsp; Right now, the thought of that seems overwhelming, but I guess it is only done one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. I appreciate your input so much.&nbsp; I don't know about you, but I still feel a sense of shock that I'm actually living in the midst of this situation.&nbsp; I have memories of his growing up years and memories from just the last seven or eight years that continually break into my mind many days. I can be at work or anywhere and suddenly start thinking about him at one age or another, completely unbidden.&nbsp; I have to just shut them out sometimes.&nbsp;&nbsp; I will never stop loving him and praying for him.&nbsp; I would give anything if I knew his whereabouts. I would be on the next plane to Phoenix.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Beta, post: 765721, member: 22597"] Copa, You've given me lots of good insights, as usual. Yes, you are right about the reasons he is not contacting us--the all encompassing pull of fentanyl, possibly shame as well. So true. Having never been a drug user, it's hard to understand fully but this makes sense to me. He believes it's not a big deal and it makes him feel better. He has told me this. Therein lies the problem--we would go to Phoenix in a heartbeat if we had any idea of where to begin to look. We have none. He has been seen by the police in various parts of Phoenix, and I am skeptical that he is staying at CASS (the shelter). He could be. I hope he is. But to take off work, spend money on flights, motel, car rental, etc. with no idea of where to look just doesn't seem wise. In fact, in some ways, coming home without having found him would compound the pain, I think. I believe this is true. The catch is to learn how to let go. Right now, the thought of that seems overwhelming, but I guess it is only done one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. I appreciate your input so much. I don't know about you, but I still feel a sense of shock that I'm actually living in the midst of this situation. I have memories of his growing up years and memories from just the last seven or eight years that continually break into my mind many days. I can be at work or anywhere and suddenly start thinking about him at one age or another, completely unbidden. I have to just shut them out sometimes. I will never stop loving him and praying for him. I would give anything if I knew his whereabouts. I would be on the next plane to Phoenix. [/QUOTE]

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