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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 738985" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>oh Copa, I am so sorry for your heartache. It is like this with contact with my two, they know how to shred me <em>when they want to, when it suits them. </em>There is no holding back, empathy or natural affection. When driving to work, I thought about your reply and how I felt that I was more of a “thing” to them oftentimes, then their mother. I have posted before that I was an “opportunity” to be <em>had</em>, straight through my heart and love for them. In this, I agree with you, how devastatingly painful it is. I am sorry.</p><p> Then you shall change from tin, to titanium, <em>impenetrable</em>.</p><p>This we owe as much to ourselves, as we do to them, that we will not allow them to tread all over us, and leave us empty and bleeding out on the floor. It only goads them on to do it more, and fuels their own self loathing. That’s how I feel right now. I have that righteous indignation brewing that <em>you posted,</em> advising me not to buy into Tornados toilet wrapping scrap writing, Bible quoting, “join me in my parade” notes.</p><p>I started to think as I drove that they would make us their prey, <em>if we let them. </em>That the more we act and feel as victims, the stronger their predation upon us. I am not saying your son, or my daughter, are sociopaths, but they do both bear those tendencies with their drugknapped brains. They are akin to toddlers or teenagers throwing tantrums and screaming out how they hate us......with their actions. Did we melt down into a puddle then, or put on our parent hat and refuse to be drawn into that pile of <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/poop.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":poop:" title="poop :poop:" data-shortname=":poop:" />?</p><p>Refuse to be prey. That is my mantra today.</p><p>Then I looked up “people who are predators”, because that is how my daughters in their feral, drug influenced minds, have acted towards me, pouncing on me at my most vulnerable times.</p><p>This is what I found, and clearly, this is how my two waywards have behaved and mistreated me.</p><p><a href="http://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/galleries/8-surprising-traits-of-predatory-people.aspx?p=6" target="_blank">http://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/galleries/8-surprising-traits-of-predatory-people.aspx?p=6</a></p><p>Still, I love them, and hope and pray for them, but I will not be their <em>prey</em>.</p><p>I feel broken-hearted and sad many times, but this is not the place I want to stay, it kills me, and does nothing to help <em>them look within and want to change. </em>They are too focused on the weak and broken in the herd........me.</p><p>What if I were to be strong and solid, unmovable by their rants and choices. Like this...........</p><p> All unacceptable and predatory.</p><p> It’s a jungle in this “world” our adult kids have created for themselves. I want no part of it. I thank you for reminding me, of this, dear friend.</p><p>If they want to have a decent relationship with me, then they have to step it up, instead of trying to drag me down into that realm.</p><p>BAH!</p><p>Leaf</p><p>Ps, of course, I could be balling my eyes out tomorrow. But, that is my prerogative.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 738985, member: 19522"] oh Copa, I am so sorry for your heartache. It is like this with contact with my two, they know how to shred me [I]when they want to, when it suits them. [/I]There is no holding back, empathy or natural affection. When driving to work, I thought about your reply and how I felt that I was more of a “thing” to them oftentimes, then their mother. I have posted before that I was an “opportunity” to be [I]had[/I], straight through my heart and love for them. In this, I agree with you, how devastatingly painful it is. I am sorry. Then you shall change from tin, to titanium, [I]impenetrable[/I]. This we owe as much to ourselves, as we do to them, that we will not allow them to tread all over us, and leave us empty and bleeding out on the floor. It only goads them on to do it more, and fuels their own self loathing. That’s how I feel right now. I have that righteous indignation brewing that [I]you posted,[/I] advising me not to buy into Tornados toilet wrapping scrap writing, Bible quoting, “join me in my parade” notes. I started to think as I drove that they would make us their prey, [I]if we let them. [/I]That the more we act and feel as victims, the stronger their predation upon us. I am not saying your son, or my daughter, are sociopaths, but they do both bear those tendencies with their drugknapped brains. They are akin to toddlers or teenagers throwing tantrums and screaming out how they hate us......with their actions. Did we melt down into a puddle then, or put on our parent hat and refuse to be drawn into that pile of :poop:? Refuse to be prey. That is my mantra today. Then I looked up “people who are predators”, because that is how my daughters in their feral, drug influenced minds, have acted towards me, pouncing on me at my most vulnerable times. This is what I found, and clearly, this is how my two waywards have behaved and mistreated me. [URL]http://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/galleries/8-surprising-traits-of-predatory-people.aspx?p=6[/URL] Still, I love them, and hope and pray for them, but I will not be their [I]prey[/I]. I feel broken-hearted and sad many times, but this is not the place I want to stay, it kills me, and does nothing to help [I]them look within and want to change. [/I]They are too focused on the weak and broken in the herd........me. What if I were to be strong and solid, unmovable by their rants and choices. Like this........... All unacceptable and predatory. It’s a jungle in this “world” our adult kids have created for themselves. I want no part of it. I thank you for reminding me, of this, dear friend. If they want to have a decent relationship with me, then they have to step it up, instead of trying to drag me down into that realm. BAH! Leaf Ps, of course, I could be balling my eyes out tomorrow. But, that is my prerogative. [/QUOTE]
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