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The Saga Continues: wow....just wow. :(
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 644491" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Well, for what it's worth, my daughter is 42 and I still don't know what the actual issue is, there is no name, I can't actually say she is bi-polar, or a narcissist or depressed..........there is something going on, but she has never admitted it nor gone for a diagnoses. The end result is the same, whatever they are doing, WE are the ones who need to alter our thinking and WE are the ones who need to detach and accept what is. Whatever what is, is. Trying to understand the why of it is a natural and understandable part of this path, however, the truth is, many of us will never find out why. It just is. And, as their parents, we have to make choices as to how we are going to deal with them and their behavior.</p><p></p><p>Letting go of trying to understand it is so hard. I went for years and years trying to figure it out, find a name for it, I thought it would then make sense and there would be a legitimate answer, a solution, a path I could follow which would then make it all okay. I couldn't find an answer. There was no solution. </p><p></p><p>The answer <em>for me</em> was to set boundaries and to let go. The rest, for me, stopped mattering. She is who she is. At 42, she is still who she is. But, I've changed. And that changed everything.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 644491, member: 13542"] Well, for what it's worth, my daughter is 42 and I still don't know what the actual issue is, there is no name, I can't actually say she is bi-polar, or a narcissist or depressed..........there is something going on, but she has never admitted it nor gone for a diagnoses. The end result is the same, whatever they are doing, WE are the ones who need to alter our thinking and WE are the ones who need to detach and accept what is. Whatever what is, is. Trying to understand the why of it is a natural and understandable part of this path, however, the truth is, many of us will never find out why. It just is. And, as their parents, we have to make choices as to how we are going to deal with them and their behavior. Letting go of trying to understand it is so hard. I went for years and years trying to figure it out, find a name for it, I thought it would then make sense and there would be a legitimate answer, a solution, a path I could follow which would then make it all okay. I couldn't find an answer. There was no solution. The answer [I]for me[/I] was to set boundaries and to let go. The rest, for me, stopped mattering. She is who she is. At 42, she is still who she is. But, I've changed. And that changed everything. [/QUOTE]
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