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The Weekend Woes, Again. ((sigh..))
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<blockquote data-quote="Chasejazz" data-source="post: 750705" data-attributes="member: 24130"><p>So, I get this text from OB(Oldest Boy) saying "if you have mail for me, leave it in the mailbox and I'll swing by on Sunday and get it...".</p><p>(He's trying to get his birth certificate mailed from out-of-state. I had already gave him the original last year and he promptly lost it, so who knows?)</p><p>There's a letter here from Vital Statistics office. I know there's no certificate bc it's restricted. Long story but he's gonna lose it when I give him the letter.</p><p>I really don't need this crap.</p><p>Every weekend lately there's been a text, a voicemail or an unexpected knock on the door from him. I'm more or less fine all week and then BOOM!@#!!...<strong>drama!!!</strong></p><p>I swear. Every single contact with him gets me going again. It drives me crazy!</p><p>When I put him out in May, after The Last Crazy Fight I Could Stand For The Rest Of My Life, he totally disappeared for about a month. ((Poof!!)) Initially, I worried. I cried. I was a wreck.</p><p>It hasn't been that long since OB's been homeless/living in his car, but I have nights now when I can sleep. I have surrendered to the fact that I did all I can for him. He's 40 and needs to make it work somehow, somewhere. I'm so very very very <em>done</em>, and I'm learning to stay busy and take care of Me. Finally!</p><p>I don't know what it is about weekends, but just when I think I can have a single FULL decent, calm and uneventful week, something surfaces on the weekend and throws a monkey wrench into it. Arrrrggghhhh!!!</p><p>For instance, last weekend I heard from my Ex that YB (Youngest Boy) -- my family-distancing overachiever -- got married 2 weeks ago. My Ex went to the ceremony although I wasn't told about it, nor was I invited. So, why tell me now? After the fact?</p><p>Sigh.</p><p>I was reading about someone on here who bought an Airstream and another who sold, or plans to sell their house and leave no forwarding address....</p><p>I am so tempted.</p><p>It's Friday. Another weekend and I want to walk out on my life. Seriously.Pack and go.</p><p>Start over, at 58 years old , where no one knows me or the circumstances of my life, my kids, my marriages, my pain.</p><p>There is still a part of me that feels ashamed. Alone. Sad. Questioning.</p><p>And I just can't see myself fighting this fight forever.</p><p>It's been 8 years with MG...3 years with YB, and now this latest go 'round with OB.</p><p>There's got to be a line that can be drawn in the sand. A place where I can start to feel whole again.</p><p>I don't know. Is there?</p><p>Anyways, thanks guys, just for being here. ♡</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chasejazz, post: 750705, member: 24130"] So, I get this text from OB(Oldest Boy) saying "if you have mail for me, leave it in the mailbox and I'll swing by on Sunday and get it...". (He's trying to get his birth certificate mailed from out-of-state. I had already gave him the original last year and he promptly lost it, so who knows?) There's a letter here from Vital Statistics office. I know there's no certificate bc it's restricted. Long story but he's gonna lose it when I give him the letter. I really don't need this crap. Every weekend lately there's been a text, a voicemail or an unexpected knock on the door from him. I'm more or less fine all week and then BOOM!@#!!...[B]drama!!![/B] I swear. Every single contact with him gets me going again. It drives me crazy! When I put him out in May, after The Last Crazy Fight I Could Stand For The Rest Of My Life, he totally disappeared for about a month. ((Poof!!)) Initially, I worried. I cried. I was a wreck. It hasn't been that long since OB's been homeless/living in his car, but I have nights now when I can sleep. I have surrendered to the fact that I did all I can for him. He's 40 and needs to make it work somehow, somewhere. I'm so very very very [I]done[/I], and I'm learning to stay busy and take care of Me. Finally! I don't know what it is about weekends, but just when I think I can have a single FULL decent, calm and uneventful week, something surfaces on the weekend and throws a monkey wrench into it. Arrrrggghhhh!!! For instance, last weekend I heard from my Ex that YB (Youngest Boy) -- my family-distancing overachiever -- got married 2 weeks ago. My Ex went to the ceremony although I wasn't told about it, nor was I invited. So, why tell me now? After the fact? Sigh. I was reading about someone on here who bought an Airstream and another who sold, or plans to sell their house and leave no forwarding address.... I am so tempted. It's Friday. Another weekend and I want to walk out on my life. Seriously.Pack and go. Start over, at 58 years old , where no one knows me or the circumstances of my life, my kids, my marriages, my pain. There is still a part of me that feels ashamed. Alone. Sad. Questioning. And I just can't see myself fighting this fight forever. It's been 8 years with MG...3 years with YB, and now this latest go 'round with OB. There's got to be a line that can be drawn in the sand. A place where I can start to feel whole again. I don't know. Is there? Anyways, thanks guys, just for being here. ♡ [/QUOTE]
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