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Family of Origin
The win and the loss
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 676508" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree with this. But it is not cool to abuse others because you don't love yourself AND DENY IT. I am not perfect and did some wrongful things, but I own them and know it. I have NEVER heard or seen my sis ever say, "I was wrong" or "I was wrong too" or even "maybe calling the police was a bit hasty, but I was mad." I get her being mad. I know how to make people mad, as does she. Mother taught us both well and, if she is honest, she would admit she knows how to do this. </p><p></p><p>At any rate, my point is, it is not up to our sisters to make us happy and it's not up to us to make them happy. I believe that mine is still not very contented with her life or her choices. I made some horrible choices too, but, as I got older, they became much less often. This is not the case for Sis. She has not made good decisions for her own life and it is not my responsibility to do so. And when i tried, by refusing to listen to or enable her when she discussed her four/five relationship with a man she admitted freely abused her over and over again...well, you know how well enabling works. Then suddenly she didn't want to talk to me because I set a boundary with her and you know the rest. You have seen the rest first hand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 676508, member: 1550"] I agree with this. But it is not cool to abuse others because you don't love yourself AND DENY IT. I am not perfect and did some wrongful things, but I own them and know it. I have NEVER heard or seen my sis ever say, "I was wrong" or "I was wrong too" or even "maybe calling the police was a bit hasty, but I was mad." I get her being mad. I know how to make people mad, as does she. Mother taught us both well and, if she is honest, she would admit she knows how to do this. At any rate, my point is, it is not up to our sisters to make us happy and it's not up to us to make them happy. I believe that mine is still not very contented with her life or her choices. I made some horrible choices too, but, as I got older, they became much less often. This is not the case for Sis. She has not made good decisions for her own life and it is not my responsibility to do so. And when i tried, by refusing to listen to or enable her when she discussed her four/five relationship with a man she admitted freely abused her over and over again...well, you know how well enabling works. Then suddenly she didn't want to talk to me because I set a boundary with her and you know the rest. You have seen the rest first hand. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
The win and the loss
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