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Family of Origin
The win and the loss
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 677063" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Awww SWOT, this is tough to read. It is hard enough growing up, but to think one is the catalyst for dysfunction......then not even be able to talk about it. It is all wrong. In so many ways.</p><p>I am glad that you came out of this, and made a wonderful life for yourself and your family of choice.</p><p> <em>It is a code of honor</em>, it doesn't even have to be spoken. I think it is intrinsic to most families, but maybe more so with dysfunctional ones. There was tremendous pressure to be the perfect all American family. The more dysfunction, the stronger the code, that's what I think. I also think that is why there is shunning, and estrangement. When folks start to talk about the issues, things backfire.</p><p>My FOO thinks that by my talking about it, or emoting over my past, that I have not grown from it, <em>that I dwell on it</em>. It is not something I am thinking about every single day. But, it has affected my life, and my self image. So, for my own health, I need to sift through it. They do not want me to.</p><p>That is them. Too bad. It happened to me.</p><p>I do not need verification from them, anymore, opened the book a couple times and got slammed. So I won't bring it up with them. It is a discussion going nowhere.</p><p>This does not mean that my life is a ruin, because of my past. There is a bit of <em>confusion </em>there, as I try to sort things out. But, I will be okay. I am hoping that I will be able to view myself in a different light. I think I will.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Serenity.</p><p>Thank you for all of your hard work, here. <em>Thank you everyone</em>.</p><p>It has opened the door for the rest of us, who would like to venture down memory lane, viewing things from their adult inner child perspective.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 677063, member: 19522"] Awww SWOT, this is tough to read. It is hard enough growing up, but to think one is the catalyst for dysfunction......then not even be able to talk about it. It is all wrong. In so many ways. I am glad that you came out of this, and made a wonderful life for yourself and your family of choice. [I]It is a code of honor[/I], it doesn't even have to be spoken. I think it is intrinsic to most families, but maybe more so with dysfunctional ones. There was tremendous pressure to be the perfect all American family. The more dysfunction, the stronger the code, that's what I think. I also think that is why there is shunning, and estrangement. When folks start to talk about the issues, things backfire. My FOO thinks that by my talking about it, or emoting over my past, that I have not grown from it, [I]that I dwell on it[/I]. It is not something I am thinking about every single day. But, it has affected my life, and my self image. So, for my own health, I need to sift through it. They do not want me to. That is them. Too bad. It happened to me. I do not need verification from them, anymore, opened the book a couple times and got slammed. So I won't bring it up with them. It is a discussion going nowhere. This does not mean that my life is a ruin, because of my past. There is a bit of [I]confusion [/I]there, as I try to sort things out. But, I will be okay. I am hoping that I will be able to view myself in a different light. I think I will. Thank you Serenity. Thank you for all of your hard work, here. [I]Thank you everyone[/I]. It has opened the door for the rest of us, who would like to venture down memory lane, viewing things from their adult inner child perspective. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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The win and the loss
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