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Substance Abuse
There is no Dick Clark but the final count down is on.
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<blockquote data-quote="Sam3" data-source="post: 729356" data-attributes="member: 19290"><p>I am right there with you. I understand that the venomous words may come from their own shame and pain, but that doesn't change the fact that they are venomous. </p><p></p><p>I never looked at my brother the same way after he "went there" on his many many bingers, and he has been sober now for 20 years! Of course, I'm sure a true and heartfelt "amends" would have helped. But frankly, without it, I can choose to forgive and be happy for him, but I can't alone restore my respect. He would have to own up. I am sympathetic to the fact that even though he is long sober, he is still fragile. But it's not a relationship of equals if it's still about what he needs, and can tolerate. That's more like a parent-child thing</p><p></p><p>Now my son has now gone there. It helps to know that's "what they do" and that it's not personal in that sense. It helps to put up emotional armor. But you just can't unring that bell. It remains to be seen whether he will have the strength one day to try. I would have enormous respect for that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sam3, post: 729356, member: 19290"] I am right there with you. I understand that the venomous words may come from their own shame and pain, but that doesn't change the fact that they are venomous. I never looked at my brother the same way after he "went there" on his many many bingers, and he has been sober now for 20 years! Of course, I'm sure a true and heartfelt "amends" would have helped. But frankly, without it, I can choose to forgive and be happy for him, but I can't alone restore my respect. He would have to own up. I am sympathetic to the fact that even though he is long sober, he is still fragile. But it's not a relationship of equals if it's still about what he needs, and can tolerate. That's more like a parent-child thing Now my son has now gone there. It helps to know that's "what they do" and that it's not personal in that sense. It helps to put up emotional armor. But you just can't unring that bell. It remains to be seen whether he will have the strength one day to try. I would have enormous respect for that. [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
There is no Dick Clark but the final count down is on.
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