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Things are looking up...maybe...
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<blockquote data-quote="LauraH" data-source="post: 729753" data-attributes="member: 22877"><p>I too am leery of both rehab and sober living, because the other times he enrolled in rehab it was more a way to get out of having to go to work than of getting clean, and I really believe now it's because it's either rehab or the streets. He lost his apartment a month or so ago and was living with his boyfriend in the basement of his mother's house until recently when he went off on a bipolar rage and damaged her back door, so I'm certain he's not welcome there anymore. I also think the sober living idea is a way to have a place to stay temporarily.</p><p></p><p>As for New York, some time ago he had said he needed to get out of Chicago and away from the boyfriend because their relationship is highly toxic and all they seem to do is fight and make up on at least a weekly basis, sometimes more, and of course the meth. The boyfriend was who introduced my son to it in the first place. He's as addicted to the boyfriend as he is to meth, and when he said the only way to stay away from the boyfriend is to leave the area, I agreed with him on that much anyway. So my husband (not his father) and I offered to fly him to Florida or anywhere else provided he had firm arrangements for a place to stay. </p><p></p><p>I'm not thrilled about the New York thing but my only other option is to tell him to just stay in Chicago and deal with it. And as long as he stays in Chicago he will keep going back and forth with the boyfriend. So if he can make arrangements that I can confirm beforehand, I will keep my end of the bargain. If New York turns out not to be the promised land, he's on his own if he decides he'd rather go somewhere else. </p><p></p><p>When he was a minor he blamed living in Daytona Beach on his problems and behavior. Then he moved to Orlando and it was because he was living in Orlando. I told him that no matter where he goes he can't get away from himself or his problems. I actually agree with everything you're saying but he didn't listen to my advice or respect my boundaries as a child. Now that he's ad adult (at least in years) there's really nothing I can do to prevent him from doing whatever he's going to do. I wouldn't be even considering helping him get to New York or anywhere else. And like I said, this is the end of the line. What he does from here on is totally up to him. His outcomes from here on are totally up to him.</p><p></p><p>I suggested he look into sober living programs in Florida but he refused to even discuss it. Today it's New York if possible, or Las Vegas, where he has a friend. He changes his mind about his life choices every other day, so tomorrow it could be somewhere else entirely. I learned a long time ago to just go with the flow, and hope and pray for the best while anticipating the worst.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LauraH, post: 729753, member: 22877"] I too am leery of both rehab and sober living, because the other times he enrolled in rehab it was more a way to get out of having to go to work than of getting clean, and I really believe now it's because it's either rehab or the streets. He lost his apartment a month or so ago and was living with his boyfriend in the basement of his mother's house until recently when he went off on a bipolar rage and damaged her back door, so I'm certain he's not welcome there anymore. I also think the sober living idea is a way to have a place to stay temporarily. As for New York, some time ago he had said he needed to get out of Chicago and away from the boyfriend because their relationship is highly toxic and all they seem to do is fight and make up on at least a weekly basis, sometimes more, and of course the meth. The boyfriend was who introduced my son to it in the first place. He's as addicted to the boyfriend as he is to meth, and when he said the only way to stay away from the boyfriend is to leave the area, I agreed with him on that much anyway. So my husband (not his father) and I offered to fly him to Florida or anywhere else provided he had firm arrangements for a place to stay. I'm not thrilled about the New York thing but my only other option is to tell him to just stay in Chicago and deal with it. And as long as he stays in Chicago he will keep going back and forth with the boyfriend. So if he can make arrangements that I can confirm beforehand, I will keep my end of the bargain. If New York turns out not to be the promised land, he's on his own if he decides he'd rather go somewhere else. When he was a minor he blamed living in Daytona Beach on his problems and behavior. Then he moved to Orlando and it was because he was living in Orlando. I told him that no matter where he goes he can't get away from himself or his problems. I actually agree with everything you're saying but he didn't listen to my advice or respect my boundaries as a child. Now that he's ad adult (at least in years) there's really nothing I can do to prevent him from doing whatever he's going to do. I wouldn't be even considering helping him get to New York or anywhere else. And like I said, this is the end of the line. What he does from here on is totally up to him. His outcomes from here on are totally up to him. I suggested he look into sober living programs in Florida but he refused to even discuss it. Today it's New York if possible, or Las Vegas, where he has a friend. He changes his mind about his life choices every other day, so tomorrow it could be somewhere else entirely. I learned a long time ago to just go with the flow, and hope and pray for the best while anticipating the worst. [/QUOTE]
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