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Things are tough
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 705937" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Child of Mine, I always like your thoughts probably because we think a lot alike. Although I can see adults coming home for emergencies, like sudden unemployment, I think it can become permanent until somebody dies. And then what? And our own life then has been destroyed. And can we ever let our say 30 year old be himself or is it always parent/Child? The rebellious teen in a 30 year old body fighting his 60 to 70 year old parents who are losing their retirement years? I don't know. Does it even matter, if the parents are okay with this?</p><p></p><p>My daughter has told me her quitting was related to being out. I know it doesnt motivate all or even most difficult kids, but it gives US some peace sometimes and how long do they stay for a leg up? 50? 60? Like your brother who has no life?</p><p></p><p> Even my autistic son is in his own and has a busy life apart from us. That was important to us and he can now maintain even after we are gone. Some parents don't let go of their disabled adult kids...but they can't live forever either. Then what?</p><p></p><p>In the end though it is up to us. What can we live with? How do we see our own lives? What can we handle? Can we watch our adult kid flounder year after year in pur house, rejecting our suggestions, and still prefer he at least have our parental support? Some would rather have this dynamic and if so that is okay. We can give our experiences to one another, but we are all different and we have to make decisions we can live with. We do what we do for ourselves. It's hard. Either way it's hard. There are no single answers.</p><p></p><p>Blessings to all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 705937, member: 1550"] Child of Mine, I always like your thoughts probably because we think a lot alike. Although I can see adults coming home for emergencies, like sudden unemployment, I think it can become permanent until somebody dies. And then what? And our own life then has been destroyed. And can we ever let our say 30 year old be himself or is it always parent/Child? The rebellious teen in a 30 year old body fighting his 60 to 70 year old parents who are losing their retirement years? I don't know. Does it even matter, if the parents are okay with this? My daughter has told me her quitting was related to being out. I know it doesnt motivate all or even most difficult kids, but it gives US some peace sometimes and how long do they stay for a leg up? 50? 60? Like your brother who has no life? Even my autistic son is in his own and has a busy life apart from us. That was important to us and he can now maintain even after we are gone. Some parents don't let go of their disabled adult kids...but they can't live forever either. Then what? In the end though it is up to us. What can we live with? How do we see our own lives? What can we handle? Can we watch our adult kid flounder year after year in pur house, rejecting our suggestions, and still prefer he at least have our parental support? Some would rather have this dynamic and if so that is okay. We can give our experiences to one another, but we are all different and we have to make decisions we can live with. We do what we do for ourselves. It's hard. Either way it's hard. There are no single answers. Blessings to all. [/QUOTE]
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