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Parent Emeritus
Things That Make You Go...."Hmmmm....."
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 637321" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>See I find that the issues our difficult child's have are similar but the way they react to them can vary wildly. Depending on their personality they can react well to a change or extremely badly. That is why it is so hard to give advice as an outsider. You can't say difficult child has Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and then pull out the manuals and say chapter 3 subsection b codicile 3 says to do this. Even as parents we think we know what does and doesn't work for our kids but some therapist or friend can come along and point out an obvious work around that just never occurred to us. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but we all appreciate that "eye opening" comment.</p><p> </p><p>I think that is one of the reasons I like coming here. Nothing I post is something you haven't heard before or if it is new it is not that shocking to parents raising difficult child's. You can give me advice and I can take it or leave it without retribution. (Of course sometimes we all get frustrated with the posters who never take the advice and continually come back with the same problems). I may not use them all but some of them just wont work for me or my situation because of something you all don't know about or just because my mothers intuition tells me it wont.</p><p> </p><p>I think the worst situation I was ever in with a therapist was when I attended family therapy with my mothers therapist leading. Everything was my fault. I was the unwed prego teen in the room with a bad attitude. In all honesty the opposite was true. I didn't have a bad attitude towards my parents unless I was in that room have blame heaped on me. Years later the therapist and I spoke privately at her request and she apologized for allowing that to happen. At some point during the years of work with my mom she had figured out that she had never listened to my side of the story. Never even thought to ask. Her work with my mother clearly made it obvious that the mental issue was squarely on moms shoulders and the rest of us were made out to be uncaring and unloving.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway thanks to that situation I learned early on that therapists are only as good as they want to be and also only as good their experience. No one can be expected to hand out sound judgements about parenting a difficult child if they have never even met one yet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 637321, member: 15473"] See I find that the issues our difficult child's have are similar but the way they react to them can vary wildly. Depending on their personality they can react well to a change or extremely badly. That is why it is so hard to give advice as an outsider. You can't say difficult child has Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and then pull out the manuals and say chapter 3 subsection b codicile 3 says to do this. Even as parents we think we know what does and doesn't work for our kids but some therapist or friend can come along and point out an obvious work around that just never occurred to us. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but we all appreciate that "eye opening" comment. I think that is one of the reasons I like coming here. Nothing I post is something you haven't heard before or if it is new it is not that shocking to parents raising difficult child's. You can give me advice and I can take it or leave it without retribution. (Of course sometimes we all get frustrated with the posters who never take the advice and continually come back with the same problems). I may not use them all but some of them just wont work for me or my situation because of something you all don't know about or just because my mothers intuition tells me it wont. I think the worst situation I was ever in with a therapist was when I attended family therapy with my mothers therapist leading. Everything was my fault. I was the unwed prego teen in the room with a bad attitude. In all honesty the opposite was true. I didn't have a bad attitude towards my parents unless I was in that room have blame heaped on me. Years later the therapist and I spoke privately at her request and she apologized for allowing that to happen. At some point during the years of work with my mom she had figured out that she had never listened to my side of the story. Never even thought to ask. Her work with my mother clearly made it obvious that the mental issue was squarely on moms shoulders and the rest of us were made out to be uncaring and unloving. Anyway thanks to that situation I learned early on that therapists are only as good as they want to be and also only as good their experience. No one can be expected to hand out sound judgements about parenting a difficult child if they have never even met one yet. [/QUOTE]
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Things That Make You Go...."Hmmmm....."
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