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Failure to Thrive
Thinking of buying a mobile home for my dysfunctional 40 year old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="MommaTried24" data-source="post: 765683" data-attributes="member: 33205"><p>I bought my son a very nice mobile home when he was 20. He and his girlfriend put it on her parents property to live. That lasted about four months? He brought it to my house when he left thankfully but it was completely trashed. Filthy dirty and the floors had never been swept. They had gotten a puppy and it had pooped diarrhea all over the carpet in the living room and they half ass tried to clean it up. It stunk so bad and there was trash and garbage and even her used tampons all over the floors. It was nasty and sickening. I made him pick up all the trash and then I cleaned it myself. He said he didn't mess it up that she did? I said well I bought it for you so I'd hoped you'd want to take care of it. Nope, even after he got it home he had no interest in taking care of it. I rented a carpet cleaner and got it all cleaned up and looking nice again and sold it to the first person that looked at it. I luckily got all of the money back I had bought it for. </p><p></p><p>Eight years later he wanted me to buy him a tiny home and put it on the lot next to my house. I had seriously contemplated doing that but he had been drinking, getting in trouble with the law, tried rehab once for 28 days (to get out of going back to jail) and got kicked out of the halfway house for not following the rules. He's been pretty much homeless every since. He's staying with a friend at the moment after his last stint in jail for five months. I told him the only way I would help him is if he helps himself first. He has to show me first. I've made it very clear that he can never come back home. He will have to go back to rehab and then a halfway house and be sober at least a year before I would ever consider helping again. Sounds so harsh but it's true.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line is, very rarely does buying our adult children a place to live ever work out. As my boss always says, people do not value what they get for free. My prayers go out to all of us who are dealing with adult children who can't and/or won't try and get it together.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MommaTried24, post: 765683, member: 33205"] I bought my son a very nice mobile home when he was 20. He and his girlfriend put it on her parents property to live. That lasted about four months? He brought it to my house when he left thankfully but it was completely trashed. Filthy dirty and the floors had never been swept. They had gotten a puppy and it had pooped diarrhea all over the carpet in the living room and they half ass tried to clean it up. It stunk so bad and there was trash and garbage and even her used tampons all over the floors. It was nasty and sickening. I made him pick up all the trash and then I cleaned it myself. He said he didn't mess it up that she did? I said well I bought it for you so I'd hoped you'd want to take care of it. Nope, even after he got it home he had no interest in taking care of it. I rented a carpet cleaner and got it all cleaned up and looking nice again and sold it to the first person that looked at it. I luckily got all of the money back I had bought it for. Eight years later he wanted me to buy him a tiny home and put it on the lot next to my house. I had seriously contemplated doing that but he had been drinking, getting in trouble with the law, tried rehab once for 28 days (to get out of going back to jail) and got kicked out of the halfway house for not following the rules. He's been pretty much homeless every since. He's staying with a friend at the moment after his last stint in jail for five months. I told him the only way I would help him is if he helps himself first. He has to show me first. I've made it very clear that he can never come back home. He will have to go back to rehab and then a halfway house and be sober at least a year before I would ever consider helping again. Sounds so harsh but it's true. Bottom line is, very rarely does buying our adult children a place to live ever work out. As my boss always says, people do not value what they get for free. My prayers go out to all of us who are dealing with adult children who can't and/or won't try and get it together. [/QUOTE]
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Thinking of buying a mobile home for my dysfunctional 40 year old daughter
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