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Substance Abuse
This sums up my feelings pretty well
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 748640" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I agree it is a very fine line to walk. Through alanon I have met some parents who have lost their kids to this disease. </p><p></p><p>I know for me, I started off with a tough love approach and my son lived homeless in winter in Denver for 3 months. We have always helped when he was willing to help himself. I am convinced though that if we had not been there for him he would be dead by now.</p><p></p><p>I think too often people are told they have to let their loved ones hit bottom, the problem is for some the bottom is death. </p><p></p><p>Granted there are still many ups and downs with my son and I cannot say he is in complete recovery. Truth is there are people who never get completely sober. I hope my son is not in that category but he might be. However I dont think completely turning my back on him would get him sober....I think things would get worse until he died.</p><p></p><p>And in fact he is doing better. I dont believe he is using heroin at this point, and although he does drink at times and smoke pot it is not all the time. He is actually working at the moment and he got As in both classed he took at community college (this is a kid who has never gotten an A in a class in his life). </p><p></p><p>Obviously I would like him to be completely sober but I realize I have absolutely no control over that, and my getting tougher with him is not going to accommplish that either.</p><p></p><p>In our case I think being there for him, continuing to let him know we love him is what is helping him in his own way at least improve. We also do have boundaries about how we help and there is no way I would have him live at home again.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 748640, member: 15801"] I agree it is a very fine line to walk. Through alanon I have met some parents who have lost their kids to this disease. I know for me, I started off with a tough love approach and my son lived homeless in winter in Denver for 3 months. We have always helped when he was willing to help himself. I am convinced though that if we had not been there for him he would be dead by now. I think too often people are told they have to let their loved ones hit bottom, the problem is for some the bottom is death. Granted there are still many ups and downs with my son and I cannot say he is in complete recovery. Truth is there are people who never get completely sober. I hope my son is not in that category but he might be. However I dont think completely turning my back on him would get him sober....I think things would get worse until he died. And in fact he is doing better. I dont believe he is using heroin at this point, and although he does drink at times and smoke pot it is not all the time. He is actually working at the moment and he got As in both classed he took at community college (this is a kid who has never gotten an A in a class in his life). Obviously I would like him to be completely sober but I realize I have absolutely no control over that, and my getting tougher with him is not going to accommplish that either. In our case I think being there for him, continuing to let him know we love him is what is helping him in his own way at least improve. We also do have boundaries about how we help and there is no way I would have him live at home again. TL [/QUOTE]
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This sums up my feelings pretty well
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