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Substance Abuse
This sums up my feelings pretty well
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 748665" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi all, this is the hardest thing to bare witness to the self destruction of an addicted love one. Caught up in the craziness of it all, trying to stop a train wreck. We have all tried so many times to offer assistance to help our adult children.</p><p>Tough love. </p><p>How difficult it is to walk this journey. </p><p>I was reading articles from CRAFT and rethinking no contact, trying to figure out how to connect with my daughters without enabling, without getting sucked back in to rescue mode.</p><p>WHAM.</p><p>Hit in the face with reality.</p><p>The reality that my twos choices have put them into some very, very bad situations, with some very shady characters.</p><p>I have had to rethink my desire to reconnect, because it puts me, my home and well family into a dangerous arena. I don’t belong there. I don’t believe my daughters do either, but it is their choice.</p><p>I never wanted them to hit rock bottom, but do realize there was nothing I could have done to prevent them from choosing to go there, not less <em>drill beneath it.</em> I guess rock bottom is defined by how much degradation each individual is willing to tolerate for their high. My two seem to have a tolerance for extremes. Again, my monkeys, not my circus.</p><p>I have had to rethink my idea of trying to create connection by periodically visiting the park area where Rain is. She lives a dangerous life, with sordid street friends.</p><p>What CRAFT leaves out, is the suffering families with addicted loved ones endure. The chaos and drama, sleepless nights, theft. Not just theft of material things, theft of time, peace of mind, and health due to the stress of witnessing your loved one cascade into an abyss. Yes, the streets are dangerous and we don’t want our loved ones out there. For my two and many others, it is a choice. If I had the money to get a place for them, <em>I wouldn’t.</em> They would trash it. Like every other opportunity they have had. The cold, hard reality I am dealing with is that meth has got them like a demon possession. So, I am back to square one, realizing that my love cannot save them, and I cannot and will not jeopardize my health and sanity by jumping into the line of fire.</p><p>Again.</p><p>Sigh.</p><p>I suppose I will go through many flip flops in how I deal with this. What snapped me back into reality was my daughter casually mentioning her boyfriend was imprisoned for revenge murder. <em>Murder</em>! My dear Lord! Her sister, recently released from jail is again on the streets and thieving from her homeless friends. It is an ugly, dangerous mess they have created for themselves.</p><p>I don’t judge anyone for the choices they make in dealing with addicted loved ones. Who knows when a person will decide to stop the insanity and find their potential. Some parents are able to get their adult kids to rehab. That is awesome.</p><p>At this point in time, with years of meth use in their system, the violent tendencies, lack of judgment, psychosis, all of that bodes me to stay the course and limit contact.</p><p>My stance is that they put themselves in a very unsafe world, which makes connecting unsafe for myself and my household.</p><p> I love them, but I won’t be able to be around them, until they decide to pull up and out of the hell they have surrounded themselves with.</p><p>That’s the reality of our situation.</p><p>For now.</p><p>Love and best wishes to all.</p><p>Rebuilding my armor.</p><p>One day at a time.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 748665, member: 19522"] Hi all, this is the hardest thing to bare witness to the self destruction of an addicted love one. Caught up in the craziness of it all, trying to stop a train wreck. We have all tried so many times to offer assistance to help our adult children. Tough love. How difficult it is to walk this journey. I was reading articles from CRAFT and rethinking no contact, trying to figure out how to connect with my daughters without enabling, without getting sucked back in to rescue mode. WHAM. Hit in the face with reality. The reality that my twos choices have put them into some very, very bad situations, with some very shady characters. I have had to rethink my desire to reconnect, because it puts me, my home and well family into a dangerous arena. I don’t belong there. I don’t believe my daughters do either, but it is their choice. I never wanted them to hit rock bottom, but do realize there was nothing I could have done to prevent them from choosing to go there, not less [I]drill beneath it.[/I] I guess rock bottom is defined[I] [/I]by[I] [/I]how much degradation each individual is willing to tolerate for their high. My two seem to have a tolerance for extremes. Again, my monkeys, not my circus. I have had to rethink my idea of trying to create connection by periodically visiting the park area where Rain is. She lives a dangerous life, with sordid street friends. What CRAFT leaves out, is the suffering families with addicted loved ones endure. The chaos and drama, sleepless nights, theft. Not just theft of material things, theft of time, peace of mind, and health due to the stress of witnessing your loved one cascade into an abyss. Yes, the streets are dangerous and we don’t want our loved ones out there. For my two and many others, it is a choice. If I had the money to get a place for them, [I]I wouldn’t.[/I] They would trash it. Like every other opportunity they have had. The cold, hard reality I am dealing with is that meth has got them like a demon possession. So, I am back to square one, realizing that my love cannot save them, and I cannot and will not jeopardize my health and sanity by jumping into the line of fire. Again. Sigh. I suppose I will go through many flip flops in how I deal with this. What snapped me back into reality was my daughter casually mentioning her boyfriend was imprisoned for revenge murder. [I]Murder[/I]! My dear Lord! Her sister, recently released from jail is again on the streets and thieving from her homeless friends. It is an ugly, dangerous mess they have created for themselves. I don’t judge anyone for the choices they make in dealing with addicted loved ones. Who knows when a person will decide to stop the insanity and find their potential. Some parents are able to get their adult kids to rehab. That is awesome. At this point in time, with years of meth use in their system, the violent tendencies, lack of judgment, psychosis, all of that bodes me to stay the course and limit contact. My stance is that they put themselves in a very unsafe world, which makes connecting unsafe for myself and my household. I love them, but I won’t be able to be around them, until they decide to pull up and out of the hell they have surrounded themselves with. That’s the reality of our situation. For now. Love and best wishes to all. Rebuilding my armor. One day at a time. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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