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<blockquote data-quote="lupylisa" data-source="post: 526517" data-attributes="member: 14480"><p>Thank you both. Like I said, a pat on the back. I love the expression "I can offer you rehab but not my home". He too could benefit from rehab even if it is just pot which it probably is more than that when he parties. I think friends must be giving him money for now or taking him to party with him(there is a 20 yo girlfriend still in/out of the picture that has her own sad life story....and hers really is sad and she's semi pulled herself up by the bootstraps w dead parents and no family and does have a job and is going to school). she is part of our problem in that he was "stable" when he was with her although their relationship is weird and they scream at each other a lot. We sort of just chose to ignore the issues when he was w her and living w her. Our family even did a lot to help this girl initially. But of course she has grown tired of him too and tells him what we tell him "grow up and get a life and a job". Which has put him in his latest tail spin. But it will always be this way I truly believe. I do not see him ever not arguing w a boss or anyone that asks anything of him for any period of time. He simply just can not hold things together. </p><p></p><p>So now after I posted the phone rang and it was the girlfriends aunt (loose term but she has taken this girl in and keaton did live there for awhile until she kicked him out). She is calling (left msg) that "how is it that Keaton has now become her problem". ??I don't know?? We didn't tell him to go there we just told him to not come home. Im not sure what to do and am gonna let husband deal with the drunken aunt (oh yah she is a total sod herself). So apparently girlfriend went to work at 4 and GTG stayed behind at the house instead of going and sitting in girlfriends truck like my husband told him to do (or going and looking for a job on foot near her workplace like he told him to do). </p><p></p><p>When will this ever end? Ive got lots of reading to do and so much to share at some point. The one word of advice I am going to post on the Little Kids forum site is what I perceive was our biggest mistake with all of our children (they've all got entitlement issues). We as parents did NOT do our job in that we OVERDID our job. What I mean is that we never let them be uncomfortable from the time they were babies. We bought the top rated car seat that was oh so padded, and the music groups, and the sports clubs, and we were PTA moms which meant we had full access to all teachers to tell them when lil johnny was right and she was wrong or maybe that "johnny had issues so be gentle with him". And we intervened to right their every wrong instead of just letting them suffer the consequences and fail. They were bored so we bought things to do or took them places. You get the drift. It is indeed generational, in my humble opinion, and we were riding the highs of the 80s back then. Our parents on the other hand could care less whether we were bored, and if we told them the teacher was wrong, they would tell us the teacher is always right. And if the neighbor kid was mean to us, they'd say go work it out. They went out on date night whether we liked it or not staying behind to eat a TV dinner w the babysitter. They let us be UNCOMFORTABLE and we learned how to adjust to discomfort. Unfortunatley for most of our GTGs they feel that it is our job or societies job to make sure that they are never uncomfortable. Anyway thats my rant. </p><p></p><p>Ive got to go to the grocery. Thanks so much for any and all advise. I read it all for or against for that is how we learn, from each other.</p><p></p><p>Doin the best that I can....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lupylisa, post: 526517, member: 14480"] Thank you both. Like I said, a pat on the back. I love the expression "I can offer you rehab but not my home". He too could benefit from rehab even if it is just pot which it probably is more than that when he parties. I think friends must be giving him money for now or taking him to party with him(there is a 20 yo girlfriend still in/out of the picture that has her own sad life story....and hers really is sad and she's semi pulled herself up by the bootstraps w dead parents and no family and does have a job and is going to school). she is part of our problem in that he was "stable" when he was with her although their relationship is weird and they scream at each other a lot. We sort of just chose to ignore the issues when he was w her and living w her. Our family even did a lot to help this girl initially. But of course she has grown tired of him too and tells him what we tell him "grow up and get a life and a job". Which has put him in his latest tail spin. But it will always be this way I truly believe. I do not see him ever not arguing w a boss or anyone that asks anything of him for any period of time. He simply just can not hold things together. So now after I posted the phone rang and it was the girlfriends aunt (loose term but she has taken this girl in and keaton did live there for awhile until she kicked him out). She is calling (left msg) that "how is it that Keaton has now become her problem". ??I don't know?? We didn't tell him to go there we just told him to not come home. Im not sure what to do and am gonna let husband deal with the drunken aunt (oh yah she is a total sod herself). So apparently girlfriend went to work at 4 and GTG stayed behind at the house instead of going and sitting in girlfriends truck like my husband told him to do (or going and looking for a job on foot near her workplace like he told him to do). When will this ever end? Ive got lots of reading to do and so much to share at some point. The one word of advice I am going to post on the Little Kids forum site is what I perceive was our biggest mistake with all of our children (they've all got entitlement issues). We as parents did NOT do our job in that we OVERDID our job. What I mean is that we never let them be uncomfortable from the time they were babies. We bought the top rated car seat that was oh so padded, and the music groups, and the sports clubs, and we were PTA moms which meant we had full access to all teachers to tell them when lil johnny was right and she was wrong or maybe that "johnny had issues so be gentle with him". And we intervened to right their every wrong instead of just letting them suffer the consequences and fail. They were bored so we bought things to do or took them places. You get the drift. It is indeed generational, in my humble opinion, and we were riding the highs of the 80s back then. Our parents on the other hand could care less whether we were bored, and if we told them the teacher was wrong, they would tell us the teacher is always right. And if the neighbor kid was mean to us, they'd say go work it out. They went out on date night whether we liked it or not staying behind to eat a TV dinner w the babysitter. They let us be UNCOMFORTABLE and we learned how to adjust to discomfort. Unfortunatley for most of our GTGs they feel that it is our job or societies job to make sure that they are never uncomfortable. Anyway thats my rant. Ive got to go to the grocery. Thanks so much for any and all advise. I read it all for or against for that is how we learn, from each other. Doin the best that I can.... [/QUOTE]
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