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Parent Emeritus
Thought I would check in and let you know...
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 9863" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>I know how difficult it is to step back and let husband take over, and yes it does take a lot of stepping back and looking at yourself. Like you said before, what you were doing didn't work, so maybe what husband is planning will. Give it some time. On the other hand if that doesn't work, then maybe the two of you should get some kind of counseling and see if you can't do this together. I used to always do it my way, then my husband and I would battle and he would insist on doing it his way, and it didn't work until we figured out how to do it our way. </p><p>Giving up the control is tough and even though difficult child hasn't lived home in a long time, I still find myself feeling stressed when husband tries to take over with easy child daughter. The problem with my husband though, is he only steps in once in awhile when he's annoyed with something and that makes it difficult, but his way is to decide the rule or punishment and then tell me to pass it on and enforce it!!!! I could of course tell him, that is what you are choosing so you pass it on, but then I loose all control :smile:and I can't quite give that up. It's not unusual how you feel. I think we all deal with the control thing because we are moms and I think we get more emotionally involved, which sometimes causes us to not always make the right choices because I know myself, I think with my heart and not my head when it comes to my kids sometimes.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully the school thing will come through. Maybe just getting him to volunteer to help you at work will do him good, just to get out there and be doing something. Glad the drinking and curfew aren't an issue, but I'm sure this must be killing you.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there and get some outside support for yourself and hubbie. Don't let this come between the two of you. One day difficult child will move out and the two of you will be left to pick up the pieces.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 9863, member: 2442"] I know how difficult it is to step back and let husband take over, and yes it does take a lot of stepping back and looking at yourself. Like you said before, what you were doing didn't work, so maybe what husband is planning will. Give it some time. On the other hand if that doesn't work, then maybe the two of you should get some kind of counseling and see if you can't do this together. I used to always do it my way, then my husband and I would battle and he would insist on doing it his way, and it didn't work until we figured out how to do it our way. Giving up the control is tough and even though difficult child hasn't lived home in a long time, I still find myself feeling stressed when husband tries to take over with easy child daughter. The problem with my husband though, is he only steps in once in awhile when he's annoyed with something and that makes it difficult, but his way is to decide the rule or punishment and then tell me to pass it on and enforce it!!!! I could of course tell him, that is what you are choosing so you pass it on, but then I loose all control [img]:smile:[/img]and I can't quite give that up. It's not unusual how you feel. I think we all deal with the control thing because we are moms and I think we get more emotionally involved, which sometimes causes us to not always make the right choices because I know myself, I think with my heart and not my head when it comes to my kids sometimes. Hopefully the school thing will come through. Maybe just getting him to volunteer to help you at work will do him good, just to get out there and be doing something. Glad the drinking and curfew aren't an issue, but I'm sure this must be killing you. Hang in there and get some outside support for yourself and hubbie. Don't let this come between the two of you. One day difficult child will move out and the two of you will be left to pick up the pieces. [/QUOTE]
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