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<blockquote data-quote="tryingtobestrong" data-source="post: 757993" data-attributes="member: 22817"><p>I also feel that even though he will make the decision on staying or leaving his current job, it will circle back to us again if he were to lose it due to a bad relapse because there he would not have FMLA until a year has past. I remember him texting me that he wanted us to be "in this together, that he needs to know we support him"... That upset me but I was afraid to say "well, we can't help you if you lose the new job". We seriously should have a nice savings at this time in our life and we don't. A few years ago we spent how much on trying to get him help through rehap copays, in and out of network fees, etc. With his own insurance, I sure hope he realizes he is on his own with everything. </p><p>He gets himself into credit card debt as well. Charging everything so he has cash for weed... Now that he supposedly stopped smoking that, he most likely will turn to the booze in excess again... (If history repeats itself).. I need to know look at the past but focus on the future.. However, every time I had my hopes up that this time he got it, he didn't. Heart shattered again.</p><p></p><p>I have bad thoughts as I am sure most parents of addicts do. They are not motherly thoughts and they make me feel really terrible. It is just we have been through so much and want our lives to be normal not always having this heavy weight on us.</p><p></p><p>He suggested that he had some vacation days and said if we wanted to visit when he was off. I thought this was nice but now I am so nervous. Hard enough hearing his voice on the phone let alone seeing him in person and having to make conversation and walk on eggshells.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryingtobestrong, post: 757993, member: 22817"] I also feel that even though he will make the decision on staying or leaving his current job, it will circle back to us again if he were to lose it due to a bad relapse because there he would not have FMLA until a year has past. I remember him texting me that he wanted us to be "in this together, that he needs to know we support him"... That upset me but I was afraid to say "well, we can't help you if you lose the new job". We seriously should have a nice savings at this time in our life and we don't. A few years ago we spent how much on trying to get him help through rehap copays, in and out of network fees, etc. With his own insurance, I sure hope he realizes he is on his own with everything. He gets himself into credit card debt as well. Charging everything so he has cash for weed... Now that he supposedly stopped smoking that, he most likely will turn to the booze in excess again... (If history repeats itself).. I need to know look at the past but focus on the future.. However, every time I had my hopes up that this time he got it, he didn't. Heart shattered again. I have bad thoughts as I am sure most parents of addicts do. They are not motherly thoughts and they make me feel really terrible. It is just we have been through so much and want our lives to be normal not always having this heavy weight on us. He suggested that he had some vacation days and said if we wanted to visit when he was off. I thought this was nice but now I am so nervous. Hard enough hearing his voice on the phone let alone seeing him in person and having to make conversation and walk on eggshells. [/QUOTE]
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