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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757995" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Trying. I changed here on this forum. I posted sometimes 30 times a day, I think. There is no such thing as posting too much. When you post you read what you write. We reflect upon ourselves this way. But the way I changed most was to post on the threads of others. Really, really, that helped me. Because I saw what I felt and thought about other people. And if I saw what was right for them, I had to change. And I did eventually. I think I was the slowest learner on this board, but eventually I changed.</p><p></p><p>You wrote some wise and true things here:This is true.</p><p>This is true. But support does not mean money. It does not mean 100 percent his terms. It does not mean doormat. To me support is love and an attitude of hope. And an attitude of hope does not mean expecting that he change in ways that you want. An attitude of hope, to me, means letting go, and letting G-d.</p><p>That's right. Why not hold this as an intention?</p><p>Yep. It's quite likely he'll continue this way, until he takes responsibility to change. Over this, you have no control. I know I don't with my own son.</p><p>I feel exactly the same way about my son who I love with my whole heart and soul. I dread seeing him and I can't bear speaking to him most of the time. That's okay for now. He is living far from me and he is self-sufficient. I am happy that he's learning to handle himself and his own life. </p><p></p><p>I realize, now, this is the only thing that works. My son has health issues. That's my biggest worry. But I can't decide for him if he lives or dies. He has to, and G-d. I accept that now. I have bad moments, like right now, as I type this. But that's a true thing. I don't control whether or not my own son lives. How hard that is for me to feel, and to accept.</p><p></p><p>PS Trying. I forgot to tell you that I am sorry you're feeling depressed. Keep posting. You'll soon feel better. I know it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757995, member: 18958"] Trying. I changed here on this forum. I posted sometimes 30 times a day, I think. There is no such thing as posting too much. When you post you read what you write. We reflect upon ourselves this way. But the way I changed most was to post on the threads of others. Really, really, that helped me. Because I saw what I felt and thought about other people. And if I saw what was right for them, I had to change. And I did eventually. I think I was the slowest learner on this board, but eventually I changed. You wrote some wise and true things here:This is true. This is true. But support does not mean money. It does not mean 100 percent his terms. It does not mean doormat. To me support is love and an attitude of hope. And an attitude of hope does not mean expecting that he change in ways that you want. An attitude of hope, to me, means letting go, and letting G-d. That's right. Why not hold this as an intention? Yep. It's quite likely he'll continue this way, until he takes responsibility to change. Over this, you have no control. I know I don't with my own son. I feel exactly the same way about my son who I love with my whole heart and soul. I dread seeing him and I can't bear speaking to him most of the time. That's okay for now. He is living far from me and he is self-sufficient. I am happy that he's learning to handle himself and his own life. I realize, now, this is the only thing that works. My son has health issues. That's my biggest worry. But I can't decide for him if he lives or dies. He has to, and G-d. I accept that now. I have bad moments, like right now, as I type this. But that's a true thing. I don't control whether or not my own son lives. How hard that is for me to feel, and to accept. PS Trying. I forgot to tell you that I am sorry you're feeling depressed. Keep posting. You'll soon feel better. I know it. [/QUOTE]
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