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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 758012" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Copa, so very well put. I like the analogy "It's about muscle". You're so right. It's the muscle of hope, courage and strength that we have to use to better ourselves. For some of us that has become very weak and unrecognizable anymore. We get so over-involved, often times in an unhealthy manner at rescuing our adult children that we become weakened. We lose our ability to focus and care for ourselves but it's so important for us to take care so that when (and it could be a very long time in coming) our adult children wake from their sleep of unaccountability, addictions, lack of concern for themselves or others etc., that we will not be a puddle of nothingness that is sick with undue anxiety, hopelessness and despair. We will be unfit and unable to enjoy the fact our children have come out on the other side of it all because we will have lost ourselves along the way.</p><p></p><p>I recommend even if it feels, selfish, at first, take baby steps to care for yourself. Read a book, get a pedicure, visit with a friend and talk about yourself, buy something pretty, indulge in a nap. As we begin to do this we can take the focus off our adult children and begin to heal our own brokenness. Self-care is not selfish. Isn't this what we all strive for our adult kids to finally arrive at? Why not us too? We are worth it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 758012, member: 23405"] Copa, so very well put. I like the analogy "It's about muscle". You're so right. It's the muscle of hope, courage and strength that we have to use to better ourselves. For some of us that has become very weak and unrecognizable anymore. We get so over-involved, often times in an unhealthy manner at rescuing our adult children that we become weakened. We lose our ability to focus and care for ourselves but it's so important for us to take care so that when (and it could be a very long time in coming) our adult children wake from their sleep of unaccountability, addictions, lack of concern for themselves or others etc., that we will not be a puddle of nothingness that is sick with undue anxiety, hopelessness and despair. We will be unfit and unable to enjoy the fact our children have come out on the other side of it all because we will have lost ourselves along the way. I recommend even if it feels, selfish, at first, take baby steps to care for yourself. Read a book, get a pedicure, visit with a friend and talk about yourself, buy something pretty, indulge in a nap. As we begin to do this we can take the focus off our adult children and begin to heal our own brokenness. Self-care is not selfish. Isn't this what we all strive for our adult kids to finally arrive at? Why not us too? We are worth it. [/QUOTE]
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