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Parent Emeritus
Three girls of my own and a homeless teen
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 752797" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Michelle,</p><p>I see many issues there. Your husband is an addict like Busy stated. Unless he attends NA or AA he is what we consider a "dry drunk" meaning he still runs on fears, self delusion, self centeredness, and self pity. He is still mentally ill. I attend AA and have been for many years, and I am mentally ill as well as an alcoholic/addict.</p><p></p><p>Like Busy suggested you need Al-Anon in order to be able to help yourself in this situation that is too much for a human to handle by themselves. We think we can, but we destroy ourselves in the process .</p><p></p><p>Your husband is also an adult child of an addict. Read up on Adult Children of Alcoholics - it's a whole psychological classification. Many of us in Al-anon were raised in alcoholic homes. </p><p></p><p>You can't rescue or fix your husband any more than you can fix or rescue that girl .Your husband has got to help himself first before he wants to help others. He is not capable right now of being an emotionally healthy parent. When you had people stay with you, it caused problems. </p><p></p><p>Please seek support for yourself in Al-anon so you can get stronger and work on yourself. Regardless of what he does, get the help you need. It's the best thing you can do for your whole family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 752797, member: 24254"] Michelle, I see many issues there. Your husband is an addict like Busy stated. Unless he attends NA or AA he is what we consider a "dry drunk" meaning he still runs on fears, self delusion, self centeredness, and self pity. He is still mentally ill. I attend AA and have been for many years, and I am mentally ill as well as an alcoholic/addict. Like Busy suggested you need Al-Anon in order to be able to help yourself in this situation that is too much for a human to handle by themselves. We think we can, but we destroy ourselves in the process . Your husband is also an adult child of an addict. Read up on Adult Children of Alcoholics - it's a whole psychological classification. Many of us in Al-anon were raised in alcoholic homes. You can't rescue or fix your husband any more than you can fix or rescue that girl .Your husband has got to help himself first before he wants to help others. He is not capable right now of being an emotionally healthy parent. When you had people stay with you, it caused problems. Please seek support for yourself in Al-anon so you can get stronger and work on yourself. Regardless of what he does, get the help you need. It's the best thing you can do for your whole family. [/QUOTE]
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