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Parent Emeritus
Three months strong and back to square one - I don't know what to do.
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<blockquote data-quote="Hopingforthe best" data-source="post: 575830" data-attributes="member: 12294"><p>Re, thanks for the info about detachment. I recognize so many shortcomings on my part because for the last two years i have done things trying to help difficult child thinking that if i try harder he will come around. My desire for wanting him to have a better life than i did has clouded my judgement. Detachment is hard but this time i feel very calm about the whole thing and i am making progress refraining from thinking or calling him. He came home yesterday while i was at work and changed and later called me to say he is fine and taking a break and wants to start school next week. I was supposed to co-sign a school loan for him but i called the bank to opt out so he has to figure out how to pay for school if he wants to go. I feel some resentment towards this boy because for the last three years i have spent so much money and energy trying to rescue him and nothing good has come out of it. I have worked hard since he was born to provide for both of us and live a better life and now he is wasting his life and i am done. I want to make changes in my life starting with selling my house and moving into a condo because when i look at the house where we live, i see pain and unhappiness. I don't know how i am going to talk to him when he comes back because i know he will and i don't think i want him back. I am not staying up at night thinking about whether he is safe or fed like i have done before and i even like the fact that i don't have to make dinner every night like before because i can live on salads and bread and stuff like that while in the past i felt like i had to cook for my dear son in order for him to enjoy a healthy hot meal. I don't even know whether he reported to probation on Wednesday and i didn't even ask him so i am letting him determine how he wants to live and if he didn't go then it is up to him. As you can see, i am still disappointed and angry but i will get over it. Thanks for listening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopingforthe best, post: 575830, member: 12294"] Re, thanks for the info about detachment. I recognize so many shortcomings on my part because for the last two years i have done things trying to help difficult child thinking that if i try harder he will come around. My desire for wanting him to have a better life than i did has clouded my judgement. Detachment is hard but this time i feel very calm about the whole thing and i am making progress refraining from thinking or calling him. He came home yesterday while i was at work and changed and later called me to say he is fine and taking a break and wants to start school next week. I was supposed to co-sign a school loan for him but i called the bank to opt out so he has to figure out how to pay for school if he wants to go. I feel some resentment towards this boy because for the last three years i have spent so much money and energy trying to rescue him and nothing good has come out of it. I have worked hard since he was born to provide for both of us and live a better life and now he is wasting his life and i am done. I want to make changes in my life starting with selling my house and moving into a condo because when i look at the house where we live, i see pain and unhappiness. I don't know how i am going to talk to him when he comes back because i know he will and i don't think i want him back. I am not staying up at night thinking about whether he is safe or fed like i have done before and i even like the fact that i don't have to make dinner every night like before because i can live on salads and bread and stuff like that while in the past i felt like i had to cook for my dear son in order for him to enjoy a healthy hot meal. I don't even know whether he reported to probation on Wednesday and i didn't even ask him so i am letting him determine how he wants to live and if he didn't go then it is up to him. As you can see, i am still disappointed and angry but i will get over it. Thanks for listening. [/QUOTE]
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Three months strong and back to square one - I don't know what to do.
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