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Substance Abuse
Threw step son out. Marriage struggling.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707256" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I get it. I do. I loathe stealing and drugging. And your step son sounds awful. But...</p><p></p><p>As one who grew up with over reactive parents, i feel you handled it way wrong and let this affect your own health. Acting angry, aggressive and yelling and going to sons job makes you look as out of control as him. To everyone. Him and Mom too.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion you and wife need to sanely work this out in marital therapy. You cant make unilateral decisions even if her son is a real butt. That wont work. Also calmness in the face of his out of control behavior makes you look like the rational, mature adult that he and your daughter really need you to be. Yelling, hysteria, revenge (even if you feel it it was justified) is bad for YOU. You have a daughter who needs to see a father who is calm under pressure. I think it shows more power than fury does.You may cslmly try to talk ro your wife. I dont think that your ultimate decision was wrong, but wife should have known your intention and weighed in so you could be on the same page.</p><p></p><p>If she refuses to see her son for what he is, you may have no choice but to leave with daughter (for her safety from this brother if Mom lets him home). Wife may or may not get over it. Stay away until she gets it.</p><p></p><p>Get a good family law lawyer to figjht for 50% custody of daughters custody in case wife files. She needs to be safe 50% of the time and most states no longer favor women over men. My son has 50% custody in Missouri and his ex, who thought she'd get majority custody, is livid. But thats a 50/50 state and my son wont give up his custodoal rights of his son to her. Be prepared. He was.</p><p></p><p>But try approaching wife first. If its hopeless then you have hard decisions ahead of you.</p><p></p><p>I am very sorry. Be very calm and rational when you talk to wife. Yelling just causes more anger and nothing can be accomplished. You can be firm and rational withput exploding. I needed to learn this. Most of us do. Trust me, it works better. I was an explisive one in my 30s and early 30s...then I realized how bad it was and turned it around. Much better for all. And for results.</p><p></p><p>Much.</p><p></p><p>Good luck</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707256, member: 1550"] I get it. I do. I loathe stealing and drugging. And your step son sounds awful. But... As one who grew up with over reactive parents, i feel you handled it way wrong and let this affect your own health. Acting angry, aggressive and yelling and going to sons job makes you look as out of control as him. To everyone. Him and Mom too. in my opinion you and wife need to sanely work this out in marital therapy. You cant make unilateral decisions even if her son is a real butt. That wont work. Also calmness in the face of his out of control behavior makes you look like the rational, mature adult that he and your daughter really need you to be. Yelling, hysteria, revenge (even if you feel it it was justified) is bad for YOU. You have a daughter who needs to see a father who is calm under pressure. I think it shows more power than fury does.You may cslmly try to talk ro your wife. I dont think that your ultimate decision was wrong, but wife should have known your intention and weighed in so you could be on the same page. If she refuses to see her son for what he is, you may have no choice but to leave with daughter (for her safety from this brother if Mom lets him home). Wife may or may not get over it. Stay away until she gets it. Get a good family law lawyer to figjht for 50% custody of daughters custody in case wife files. She needs to be safe 50% of the time and most states no longer favor women over men. My son has 50% custody in Missouri and his ex, who thought she'd get majority custody, is livid. But thats a 50/50 state and my son wont give up his custodoal rights of his son to her. Be prepared. He was. But try approaching wife first. If its hopeless then you have hard decisions ahead of you. I am very sorry. Be very calm and rational when you talk to wife. Yelling just causes more anger and nothing can be accomplished. You can be firm and rational withput exploding. I needed to learn this. Most of us do. Trust me, it works better. I was an explisive one in my 30s and early 30s...then I realized how bad it was and turned it around. Much better for all. And for results. Much. Good luck [/QUOTE]
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