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General Parenting
Tired of talking to people who do not understand!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 401862" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>April, I understand completely about looking at one issue and blaming all behaviors on divorce, illness, alcohol or drug abuse, moving to a new area etc, etc, etc. </p><p>My husband and I did it just like the text book would describe. Not one thing to point to as a reason for difficult child to be so out of control. Didn't make a bit of difference. He was the wildest most hyper active and impulsive kid in almost any group. It seemed professionals were looking for a reason, like we were hiding some deep dark secret. I commented on that to the evaluation team. If we had something considered out of the norm, that they would use it as an excuse but as it is, it was how difficult child was wired. </p><p>It makes me very sympathetic to those who feel they did something wrong. Almost no one has a perfect home life and to imply that one thing (other than a big catastrophic event) causes our kids behavior is very small minded and ignorant. </p><p>Just reshift your focus from explaining to others to working with a team of professionals and family who want to see your difficult child's succeed. Slowly those family and friends will slip away. They will judge you but, again, you don't owe them anything. Nothing you do or teach will change their mind if they chose to blame your lack of father figure or divorce or whatever the reason. Once I stopped spending my energy on others and refocused on what my difficult child needed it held much less power over me. </p><p>Hang in there. It's a long road and we change and grow with each step.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 401862, member: 3"] April, I understand completely about looking at one issue and blaming all behaviors on divorce, illness, alcohol or drug abuse, moving to a new area etc, etc, etc. My husband and I did it just like the text book would describe. Not one thing to point to as a reason for difficult child to be so out of control. Didn't make a bit of difference. He was the wildest most hyper active and impulsive kid in almost any group. It seemed professionals were looking for a reason, like we were hiding some deep dark secret. I commented on that to the evaluation team. If we had something considered out of the norm, that they would use it as an excuse but as it is, it was how difficult child was wired. It makes me very sympathetic to those who feel they did something wrong. Almost no one has a perfect home life and to imply that one thing (other than a big catastrophic event) causes our kids behavior is very small minded and ignorant. Just reshift your focus from explaining to others to working with a team of professionals and family who want to see your difficult child's succeed. Slowly those family and friends will slip away. They will judge you but, again, you don't owe them anything. Nothing you do or teach will change their mind if they chose to blame your lack of father figure or divorce or whatever the reason. Once I stopped spending my energy on others and refocused on what my difficult child needed it held much less power over me. Hang in there. It's a long road and we change and grow with each step. [/QUOTE]
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Tired of talking to people who do not understand!!!
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