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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 430729" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>My sympathy and support to you and your child. </p><p></p><p>Like Terry said, go talk to a psychiatrist.</p><p></p><p>The only part I can comment/suggest on is the contact with bio dad. You've tried to keep contact open, even finding ways to make it easier for him, if he's not going to take advantage of it, you can't force it, and don't waste your energy trying. Right now it seems that it would be better for your son, but once your son gets older and finds out dad had to be FORCED to have contact with him, then what? </p><p></p><p>I'm in a similar boat with my kids' dad. Kids have always been allowed to call whenever they want - they used to call more often, but now it's just holidays and his birthday. He can call, email, visit, IM anytime he wants, but chooses not to. I'm even willing to send them to visit him as long as his "inappropriate" situation is out of the house the whole time. (so not what everyone is thinking, I may reveal it here someday) He'd rather just not deal with being a real parent, and blame it all on me.</p><p></p><p>You can't fix him(the bio dad). Even if he decides he's gonna work on fixing himself, you can't and shouldn't help - he is no longer your responsibility. </p><p></p><p>You need to save and focus your energy on your child and current family.</p><p></p><p>by the way you can edit your posts and remove the names where they were already used. there's a sticky explaining in detail why all the "secrecy" - paranoia has nothing to do with it. True digital age safety issues you may never thought of.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 430729, member: 11965"] My sympathy and support to you and your child. Like Terry said, go talk to a psychiatrist. The only part I can comment/suggest on is the contact with bio dad. You've tried to keep contact open, even finding ways to make it easier for him, if he's not going to take advantage of it, you can't force it, and don't waste your energy trying. Right now it seems that it would be better for your son, but once your son gets older and finds out dad had to be FORCED to have contact with him, then what? I'm in a similar boat with my kids' dad. Kids have always been allowed to call whenever they want - they used to call more often, but now it's just holidays and his birthday. He can call, email, visit, IM anytime he wants, but chooses not to. I'm even willing to send them to visit him as long as his "inappropriate" situation is out of the house the whole time. (so not what everyone is thinking, I may reveal it here someday) He'd rather just not deal with being a real parent, and blame it all on me. You can't fix him(the bio dad). Even if he decides he's gonna work on fixing himself, you can't and shouldn't help - he is no longer your responsibility. You need to save and focus your energy on your child and current family. by the way you can edit your posts and remove the names where they were already used. there's a sticky explaining in detail why all the "secrecy" - paranoia has nothing to do with it. True digital age safety issues you may never thought of. [/QUOTE]
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