Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
to take Ritalin or not?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Giulia" data-source="post: 521906" data-attributes="member: 14306"><p>Malika, sorry to partly disagree with you. </p><p>But if your child had asthma, diabetes, epilepsy... would you refuse to give medicine because "he does well" ? </p><p></p><p>The key point is that it's not because the child seems to do well that he truly does well. Appearances can be very deceitful, even with ADHD (and my experience is that appearances deceit more with ADHD than with other illnesses. Only my experience, so it worthes what it worthes). </p><p>I was at the same point, and while stepmother said that "I was too intelligent not to pretend to suffer", whereas I was struggling with all the mix I had. And no, it was beyond my abilities to "pretend to suffer" like my stepmother said so often. </p><p></p><p>Of course we don't give medicines just to confirm or infirm a diagnosis. </p><p>But it's not because the child seems to do well that he truly does well. We don't have to leave a child to struggle with ADHD only because "we don't medicate a developing brain, he can overcome the ADHD". </p><p>It's the best road to let a child self medicate for his symptoms when symptoms become too impairing. </p><p>If we give a medicine rather than letting a child self medicate, we can avoid many substance abuse problems (not all, but many of them). Contrary to what many people may say. </p><p></p><p>If he really does well, and if he has really minimal impairment, it's ok not to medicate. </p><p>But it's not because a child seems to do well that he truly does well. We have to be careful with deceitful appearances, like he looks like ok whereas he is not ok. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Esther, the best advice I can give you as someone with ADHD is letting the parents make their own decision about it, and support them whatever the decision they make. </p><p></p><p>Assure them your support whatever the decision they make for their child with ADHD. If they want to medicate but feel guilty about medicating, tell them that if their child had a physical illness like diabetes, asthma, epilepsy.... what would they do ? I can swear you that comparing ADHD to a physical illness helps with alleviating guilty feelings. Praise them for how well they support their child, praise for any of your grandson's success.... </p><p>Ask them if they have ways to discipline that work better for your grandson than others. Even if you know the matter, what applies to one may not apply to another. </p><p>I know that it's not specific to your question and it goes somehow beyond. </p><p>I know it's more general, but whatever your decision, show them that you are there no matter what. It may seem obvious for you, but it may not be obvious for them. </p><p></p><p>I can be sure from what I've read that you are a terrific grandmother <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> So don't beat up yourself, you know too well how to beat yourself up (like everyone). </p><p> </p><p>I echo the happy Passover (I'll make this holiday with my mom. Yup, she is Jewish too, and I feel strongly my Jewish identity too)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Giulia, post: 521906, member: 14306"] Malika, sorry to partly disagree with you. But if your child had asthma, diabetes, epilepsy... would you refuse to give medicine because "he does well" ? The key point is that it's not because the child seems to do well that he truly does well. Appearances can be very deceitful, even with ADHD (and my experience is that appearances deceit more with ADHD than with other illnesses. Only my experience, so it worthes what it worthes). I was at the same point, and while stepmother said that "I was too intelligent not to pretend to suffer", whereas I was struggling with all the mix I had. And no, it was beyond my abilities to "pretend to suffer" like my stepmother said so often. Of course we don't give medicines just to confirm or infirm a diagnosis. But it's not because the child seems to do well that he truly does well. We don't have to leave a child to struggle with ADHD only because "we don't medicate a developing brain, he can overcome the ADHD". It's the best road to let a child self medicate for his symptoms when symptoms become too impairing. If we give a medicine rather than letting a child self medicate, we can avoid many substance abuse problems (not all, but many of them). Contrary to what many people may say. If he really does well, and if he has really minimal impairment, it's ok not to medicate. But it's not because a child seems to do well that he truly does well. We have to be careful with deceitful appearances, like he looks like ok whereas he is not ok. Esther, the best advice I can give you as someone with ADHD is letting the parents make their own decision about it, and support them whatever the decision they make. Assure them your support whatever the decision they make for their child with ADHD. If they want to medicate but feel guilty about medicating, tell them that if their child had a physical illness like diabetes, asthma, epilepsy.... what would they do ? I can swear you that comparing ADHD to a physical illness helps with alleviating guilty feelings. Praise them for how well they support their child, praise for any of your grandson's success.... Ask them if they have ways to discipline that work better for your grandson than others. Even if you know the matter, what applies to one may not apply to another. I know that it's not specific to your question and it goes somehow beyond. I know it's more general, but whatever your decision, show them that you are there no matter what. It may seem obvious for you, but it may not be obvious for them. I can be sure from what I've read that you are a terrific grandmother :) So don't beat up yourself, you know too well how to beat yourself up (like everyone). I echo the happy Passover (I'll make this holiday with my mom. Yup, she is Jewish too, and I feel strongly my Jewish identity too) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
to take Ritalin or not?
Top