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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 644445" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Wow, Cedar, what a very painful situation to be in. It really sucks when there are children involved because then they really have a huge manipulation tool to use against you. Yesterday, at my own therapy session we were talking about action of my difficult child daughter who marks highly on the sociopath scale. My therapist suggested by what we were discussing, that there may be borderline features there as well so I just started researching about borderline personality disorder last night, but with my very limited knowledge, (checklist) I would advise you to look into whether your difficult child may have this PD.</p><p></p><p></p><p>The kind that cares so deeply about their child that they are willing to educate themselves on what may be wrong with their child so that they may respond to that child on the level the child is capable of communicating (or not) on. The kind that also probably doesn't really want to face reality but finds the courage to do so anyway. Even if you were to discover there is something unfix-able with your child, that doesn't mean you don't love them anymore, it just means you have to be careful and again, realistic with yourself about them. If they are mentally ill or personality disordered, you owe it to yourself and your family to do what is safest for everyone involved even if that means shutting her and her ideas down. It also DOES NOT mean that it is your fault. Here are a couple things I posted on other threads: My therapist says that is why having this kind of child is so heartbreaking. You can be the best mom in the world, have done everything humanly possible for our child and because of DNA (or cases of extreme abuse or neglect) they can not <em>receive </em>what we so much want for them. It is a loss of a child but in a whole other way, one that leaves you feeling that someday (wishing on a star..........)</p><p></p><p>AND: After reading what you are writing here - some kind of explanation screams forth - perhaps your children inherited these awful DNA genes from these repulsive family members. Maybe everything you have been fighting for/against is just born/bred in the child. </p><p>I am enjoying reading your stories (not in a morbid way) because it helps to explain more about how dysfunctional DNA runs in families and there is little to nothing we can do about it. These DNA qualities may have not affected you per se, maybe other siblings (my case) is the carrier of the "awful" DNA. Maybe you, like me, are the survivors, able to rise above the craziness going on around you and have STRONG good DNA that allows you to live a normal life. One way to look at is to count your blessings that it is not YOU that has been dealt the hand of this awful DNA (even though you may have had to continue to deal with it through your difficult child) At least you are not a crazy and hurtful human being! Yes, just <em>being forced to survive it </em>is bad enough, but to have the ability to eventually rise above it shows strength of character for sure.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 644445, member: 18366"] Wow, Cedar, what a very painful situation to be in. It really sucks when there are children involved because then they really have a huge manipulation tool to use against you. Yesterday, at my own therapy session we were talking about action of my difficult child daughter who marks highly on the sociopath scale. My therapist suggested by what we were discussing, that there may be borderline features there as well so I just started researching about borderline personality disorder last night, but with my very limited knowledge, (checklist) I would advise you to look into whether your difficult child may have this PD. The kind that cares so deeply about their child that they are willing to educate themselves on what may be wrong with their child so that they may respond to that child on the level the child is capable of communicating (or not) on. The kind that also probably doesn't really want to face reality but finds the courage to do so anyway. Even if you were to discover there is something unfix-able with your child, that doesn't mean you don't love them anymore, it just means you have to be careful and again, realistic with yourself about them. If they are mentally ill or personality disordered, you owe it to yourself and your family to do what is safest for everyone involved even if that means shutting her and her ideas down. It also DOES NOT mean that it is your fault. Here are a couple things I posted on other threads: My therapist says that is why having this kind of child is so heartbreaking. You can be the best mom in the world, have done everything humanly possible for our child and because of DNA (or cases of extreme abuse or neglect) they can not [I]receive [/I]what we so much want for them. It is a loss of a child but in a whole other way, one that leaves you feeling that someday (wishing on a star..........) AND: After reading what you are writing here - some kind of explanation screams forth - perhaps your children inherited these awful DNA genes from these repulsive family members. Maybe everything you have been fighting for/against is just born/bred in the child. I am enjoying reading your stories (not in a morbid way) because it helps to explain more about how dysfunctional DNA runs in families and there is little to nothing we can do about it. These DNA qualities may have not affected you per se, maybe other siblings (my case) is the carrier of the "awful" DNA. Maybe you, like me, are the survivors, able to rise above the craziness going on around you and have STRONG good DNA that allows you to live a normal life. One way to look at is to count your blessings that it is not YOU that has been dealt the hand of this awful DNA (even though you may have had to continue to deal with it through your difficult child) At least you are not a crazy and hurtful human being! Yes, just [I]being forced to survive it [/I]is bad enough, but to have the ability to eventually rise above it shows strength of character for sure. [/QUOTE]
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