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Parent Emeritus
To Tell the Truth
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 645895" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Here is something I know. Something I learned during this posting. Identifying my levers, my vulnerabilities, has shown me what I need in my life to consider myself successful, happy, worthwhile.</p><p></p><p>This is a priceless gift, to know those things about ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Once we know why we need what we need from our relationships with our children, <em>we can provide it for ourselves.</em> As I write what I think I see, as I kind of face all that black down, it's kind of scaring me, what I see.</p><p></p><p>I don't see that what I want is wrong, at all.</p><p></p><p>What I see is that time and again things get twisted. The twisting is not a technicality and it is not an accident.</p><p></p><p>Eerie.</p><p></p><p>But now that I am determined not to feel badly about anything I think (because that is a piece of how we stay blind to it, too ~ we can't believe we believe what we believe so we stop believing it), I am going to keep testing that. </p><p></p><p>It always does feel like a kaleidescope when things fall together.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Thanks to each of you. We are pretty much in this together. Without you as witnesses, I might not have been able to push through.</p><p></p><p>It's an ugly feeling to think about my own children in this way.</p><p></p><p>Shaming.</p><p></p><p>That shame feeling has to be one of the things that keeps us from admitting what is happening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 645895, member: 17461"] Here is something I know. Something I learned during this posting. Identifying my levers, my vulnerabilities, has shown me what I need in my life to consider myself successful, happy, worthwhile. This is a priceless gift, to know those things about ourselves. Once we know why we need what we need from our relationships with our children, [I]we can provide it for ourselves.[/I] As I write what I think I see, as I kind of face all that black down, it's kind of scaring me, what I see. I don't see that what I want is wrong, at all. What I see is that time and again things get twisted. The twisting is not a technicality and it is not an accident. Eerie. But now that I am determined not to feel badly about anything I think (because that is a piece of how we stay blind to it, too ~ we can't believe we believe what we believe so we stop believing it), I am going to keep testing that. It always does feel like a kaleidescope when things fall together. Cedar Thanks to each of you. We are pretty much in this together. Without you as witnesses, I might not have been able to push through. It's an ugly feeling to think about my own children in this way. Shaming. That shame feeling has to be one of the things that keeps us from admitting what is happening. [/QUOTE]
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