No, Copa. Naming the missing thing, the killing thing, can help us see ourselves with compassion. Knowing what that would feel like, to have a child whose love we could safely and dependably build our lives around, we can strive for that feeling tone within ourselves whether we have those wonderful things in reality or not.
We are betrayed by our children, Copa.
Everything we do here is about how to survive this very hard thing.
***
Are you likening your response to your child's destructive addictive behaviors to a snake's strike, Copa? There is no venom that will stop or deter or change any of this.
Or are you feeling remorse over how you have had to learn to respond to your son since his addiction.
I am so sorry Copa, but if you are going to survive this thing, you need to take firm, determined responsibility for your responses to your child. This has to be an eyes open thing. It is hurtful. We need to be certain of our courses of action Copa, and we need to tell ourselves as much of the truth as we can handle. It is true that we love them. There is nothing noble about addiction, Copa. Our children have betrayed us, whether through an act of will or through having their will destroyed by their addictions.
It is a very hard thing, Copa.
I think you handled it well. However it happened that you did not take your son in, you handled it beautifully.
I am proud for you, Copa. That must have been hard.
You are doing well.
Cedar
