Copa, You are right. He does not know how to live right now even though I ask him what he wants to do with his life. Since he does not have answers I make suggestions. We stay busy, almost too busy but if I don't keep him busy he does stupid things. I know many men that do very stupid things, even highly educated men like my husband. Some of the things my friends tell me that their husbands do would make me get a divorce. I have asked him if he wants a divorce and he said no he does not. I do listen but sometimes he just can't express himself or he tells me half the story. We have been having some peaceful days and I bring it up about the relative coming this March and he said he is looking forward to it. Last fall we went to the town the relative lives in, 1,200 miles away and did not even stop in to see him. He did not know we were in town. So why invite him to our home now? I told my husband that between his off track behavior and our daughter, even on her good days she is still grieving. I am wore out. Not a good wore out either. One thing for sure, my son was highly protective of me. Right or wrong he was always on my side. I knew as I grew older and if I had to be in nursing care that he would have my best interest in mind and make sure I got the best care possible. When I had the flu, he was the one that ran to the grocery store to get me what I needed. And he always picked out the best avocados. He was a natural care giver. It's stressful times like this that make me miss him so much.
Today my daughter gave me an entire line of BS. I was wore out shifting through it all.
Several of my friends have come back from their cruises. The weather was rough, the food just so so and the cruise lines are making many cuts. Now I have to rethink something else. Hope you are well and thank you for walking this road with me. You are so appreciated. Love.
