I was actually going to respond almost exactly as Cops did but she is more articulate than me and probably wrote it better.
Your son is 18 but he is in your house and you are supporting him. He isn't acting like an adult at all. He is living like a little boy only more dangerously, doing illegal stuff to get money and it's ok because he says everyone does it? Everyone DOESNT do it! He and his probably troubled friends do it.
I can only tell you that looking the other way won't help. It will make things worse. No expectations on him as he lives with a child's mentality knowing you will supply him with money, a car, everything no matter how he acts will lead to no changes for the better. If he were mine, I would have made him leave unless he:
1. Went to therapy
2. Totally stopped illegally getting money under my roof....maybe then he would get a job.
3. No car if he is impaired on pot or worse and certainly no pot in my house. He has to see you as strong people with boundaries and morals or he will go off the rails and YOU will be the only one hitting rock bottom. He can't hit rock bottom if you coddle him from all consequences.
Dyslexia is no fun. I have many learning disabilities and never even made it to college and one of my sons is autistic. But I had to work anyway, and it was hard for me, and we always treated our son like our other kids and he is out on his own in his own place taking care of himself. He works. Your son can do it too and at least in my opinion should be forced to do so or face consequences. He should listen to your rules or leave.
I know this probably sounds harsh to you, but nothing will change if you don't change it. You don't want him in prison or living in your basement while his peers are thriving. If my own four kids wanted to drive they had to pay their part of our insurance and the gas. They all worked part time in high school except for my autistic son. My youngest had serious learning disabilities and could not read until age 8, but she just finished her law enforcement college program and has been called back twice for a job at the jail. If she doesn't get it she is enrolling in the police academy. We expected her to do well. She has.
If you don't expect anything from your son he will not expect anything of himself. I have four thriving adult kids and two struggled in school but they made it. I hope yours can start to thrive and cut out the illegsl stuff but he probably won't unless you get tough and tell him that he either flies straight or he has to leave . Most of us have put our foot down hard for behavior like your sons.
I am sorry. I can't see letting him basically take drugs, do illegal stuff and get free money from you for no effort doing anything but making him walk all over you. I hope you realize we are trying to HELP you and him. This is not bashing you at all.
Love and light.
