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Trying to ignore a gnawing panic in my belly...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 95811" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree from experience with those who say to be tough on her. First off, why is Monekyboy in the house? I wouldn't allow him there, especially if he and your daughter are under the covers in your home. How disrespectful! She can date him, but you don't have to allow him over. I sure wouldn't. When my drugged out daughter brought home a boy with a shaved head and skull on his arm (and glazed eyes) and introduced him as her boyfriend, I told her, after he'd left, that he wouldn't be welcome over again. He raided half the food in our refrigerator when he was over and cussed a lot. Why should I have him in my house? Why should you have Monkeyboy in yours? Because daughter will get mad? So what?</p><p>I wouldn't help your daughter get ANY insurance. She was already in an accident? My daughter was in THREE accidents. Somebody sued her and three years later, after she'd been clean for a couple years, she had to fork out $7,000 to the woman whose car she'd plowed into while drunk. Her father lent her SOME of the money, but she has to pay him back every month, and the only reason he helped her is because she truly is clean, productive, and very respectful now (and remorseful of her drug days). Trust me, in one of the accidents, daughter was lucky she wasn't killed. You are putting your daughter at risk by in any way helping her drive.</p><p>Lastly, I don't care if she's eighteen or thirty-eight. She's not acting responsible and I so disagree with H. He expects her to know right from wrong and make good choices? She knows right from wrong, but you KNOW she isn't a place where she will make good choices, and this is a set up for failure for her and for the entire family. Mentally, she is much younger than eighteen and she's not very stable. Trust me, I've been there and done that. Only after I truly did have to make daughter leave, due to continued drug use and unwillingness to change, that she took stock of her life and DID change ALL for the better. She didn't drive for three years after she moved out, but she managed to get a job and walk to work and now she drives and hasn't gotten a ticket for a few years. Sometimes our soft hearts are the worst things for our kids. I know I cried a lot, but I truly could see she wasn't putting forth any effort to give up her self-destructive life and I refused to help her destroy herself. Yeah, she thought I was mean, but we are best friends now.</p><p>I wish you luck. I know how hard this is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 95811, member: 1550"] I agree from experience with those who say to be tough on her. First off, why is Monekyboy in the house? I wouldn't allow him there, especially if he and your daughter are under the covers in your home. How disrespectful! She can date him, but you don't have to allow him over. I sure wouldn't. When my drugged out daughter brought home a boy with a shaved head and skull on his arm (and glazed eyes) and introduced him as her boyfriend, I told her, after he'd left, that he wouldn't be welcome over again. He raided half the food in our refrigerator when he was over and cussed a lot. Why should I have him in my house? Why should you have Monkeyboy in yours? Because daughter will get mad? So what? I wouldn't help your daughter get ANY insurance. She was already in an accident? My daughter was in THREE accidents. Somebody sued her and three years later, after she'd been clean for a couple years, she had to fork out $7,000 to the woman whose car she'd plowed into while drunk. Her father lent her SOME of the money, but she has to pay him back every month, and the only reason he helped her is because she truly is clean, productive, and very respectful now (and remorseful of her drug days). Trust me, in one of the accidents, daughter was lucky she wasn't killed. You are putting your daughter at risk by in any way helping her drive. Lastly, I don't care if she's eighteen or thirty-eight. She's not acting responsible and I so disagree with H. He expects her to know right from wrong and make good choices? She knows right from wrong, but you KNOW she isn't a place where she will make good choices, and this is a set up for failure for her and for the entire family. Mentally, she is much younger than eighteen and she's not very stable. Trust me, I've been there and done that. Only after I truly did have to make daughter leave, due to continued drug use and unwillingness to change, that she took stock of her life and DID change ALL for the better. She didn't drive for three years after she moved out, but she managed to get a job and walk to work and now she drives and hasn't gotten a ticket for a few years. Sometimes our soft hearts are the worst things for our kids. I know I cried a lot, but I truly could see she wasn't putting forth any effort to give up her self-destructive life and I refused to help her destroy herself. Yeah, she thought I was mean, but we are best friends now. I wish you luck. I know how hard this is. [/QUOTE]
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