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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Turning my back was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 740232" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Ms Helen, I am so sorry you find yourself here. Many of us are going through similar things right now, and asking ourselves the same questions. I encourage you to read through some of our other threads here and in Parent Emeritus, and post a thread of your own with more details on your situation. The short answer I have learned is that WE cannot continue to try if THEY are not trying. My son has been on the street, and it's looking like he is about to be again. Could I bring him back here? Yes. Would it fix anything long term? No. And I would be sacrificing the new life of peace and safety I have built here. We cannot fix them if they do not want to be fixed. I understand the lack of sleep, the inability to concentrate, the constant worry. Someone on another thread called this "24-Hour Mother Disaster Headline News" and said we all need to learn to change the channel when these headlines are running through our brains nonstop. Nature is right - you have to keep yourself strong first, or you can't help anyone. So change the channel, make a cup of tea, but some soothing music on, lose yourself in work or an engaging diversion for a while. Your constant worry is doing nothing for him. When you are feeling stronger, you'll be in a better place to assess options - yours and his - and perhaps think about ways in which you can point your son to resources that will help him help himself. </p><p></p><p>Hugs to you. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 740232, member: 23349"] Ms Helen, I am so sorry you find yourself here. Many of us are going through similar things right now, and asking ourselves the same questions. I encourage you to read through some of our other threads here and in Parent Emeritus, and post a thread of your own with more details on your situation. The short answer I have learned is that WE cannot continue to try if THEY are not trying. My son has been on the street, and it's looking like he is about to be again. Could I bring him back here? Yes. Would it fix anything long term? No. And I would be sacrificing the new life of peace and safety I have built here. We cannot fix them if they do not want to be fixed. I understand the lack of sleep, the inability to concentrate, the constant worry. Someone on another thread called this "24-Hour Mother Disaster Headline News" and said we all need to learn to change the channel when these headlines are running through our brains nonstop. Nature is right - you have to keep yourself strong first, or you can't help anyone. So change the channel, make a cup of tea, but some soothing music on, lose yourself in work or an engaging diversion for a while. Your constant worry is doing nothing for him. When you are feeling stronger, you'll be in a better place to assess options - yours and his - and perhaps think about ways in which you can point your son to resources that will help him help himself. Hugs to you. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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Turning my back was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
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